John Murphy

< Don’t be late!” I acted casual, as though leaving these two behind, women who had torn open a part of me, crawled inside and now I couldn’t survive without them was just another day… just easy. But every time… it was a little harder.

< from Rey to Blake to Emori… the last thing we needed was these people learning this language. It was an advantage we needed to guard. We needed to be more careful about speaking it so freely. I tried to convey this in my gaze before I turned to head out. “I’ll see you guys at evening rations… >

< “Swega kiln?” (Promise me.)

‘Ai swega kiln, bro… Ogeda.’ She put her covered hand on my shoulder. (I promise brother… together.)

‘Such a weird language…’ one of the crew said, it looked like he had been taking notes. ‘Almost like a code.’ He was muttering to himself mostly.

My eyes darted >

< around us bothered her, I could tell. She stepped away. (I don’t need a bodyguard.)

“Beja, Emori… Yo oma ai sis… Em oma…” (Please, Emori… you are my sister.. she is my…” I looked at Raven. “Beja… jos ste ogeda.” (Please just stay together.)

‘Kei, kei.. Ogeda.’ (Okay, Okay. Together.) She said.
>

< neck and touched our foreheads together in the tradition of her people. “Set raun oso striksora,” I whispered. (Stay with our little bird.) Whispers moved from person to person behind us… more bullshit about who was sleeping with whom.

‘Ai no na gaf in bloka.’ She sighed at me… the whispers >

< of her existence. It was worse than the Ark deciding which of the sick lived and died. I got up from where I had perched on the work station, careful not to touch any screens or buttons and accidentally open all the airlocks or something. I moved to Emori and rested my hand on the back of her >

< terrified me. Luna too… even though she could defend herself… but if there were enough people to take even her on? I couldn’t think about that either. Or the chance that she may choose not to defend herself.

I knew Raven wouldn’t leave Emori alone. She knew the danger she was in just because >

< Then I turned to the girls. “Stay together, okay. And drink your rations.” My gaze was on Raven. I hated the idea of her walking around this ship alone… but Emori. The grounders aboard believed she should have been slaughtered at birth… the idea of her alone in the corridors of this ship… that >

< Murphy… nurse… chef… teacher…’ He laughed. ‘Who would have thought it!?’
I shook my head. “I’m not a nurse… and being a good cook when you have real food doesn’t make you a chef… plus its not my fault you had zero survival instincts and didn’t learn the language on Earth…” I teased right back.

>

< serve today.” I chuckled. I knew I could teach the kids… but letting Luna do that while I taught Harper was more time effective… she would learn faster than the kids, and she spent more time with them.

Bellamy stopped with his last bite of the ration biscuit halfway to his mouth. ‘Wow, John >

< “Where’s the trust, Stargazer?” I said, a teasing grin on my face. “I don’t have any time to get in trouble today. Harper has me roped into teaching her some Trig, while Luna teaches the kids Gonasleng (English), and Luna wants me to teach her to read English now too… and I still have meals to >

< even if I was less sorry about that. But when I was around Raven, that feeling… the feeling of regretting hurting him less than I regretted hurting her… It pinched and stung. These men were close… more than coworkers, they were a community just like the stations on the Ark.

I rolled my eyes. >

The crew had the same kind of dynamic that the inner circle had going after I had returned to camp after my banishment… after Raven had arrived. I couldn’t delve too deeply into how her arrival on Earth changed the status quo among the group. Not without remembering what I did to her… to Bellamy… >

<
Because he was outstanding in his field!’

Emori eyed him… “What the hell is a scarecrow?”

It was enough to get us all laughing again.

< a way that made me think that maybe he’d seen combat… I knew that most of the crew were formerly military. Our silence was an answer.

Then, to break the new tension, the dad joke guy said. ‘Wait! I have a better one.’ He paused for dramatic effect.

‘Why did the scarecrow win an award? >

< their reactions.

The guy whose name I really needed to learn chuckled. ‘What? Are you afraid to let me near you with a pair of sciss—’ he stopped dead, realising that was exactly what I was thinking. He just looked at us all. ‘You guys really went through it down there, didn’t you?’ He said in >

< real haircut?’ The guy nodded.

‘You too… if you want.’ He said to me? ‘I never really did girls’ hair… but I’m sure I could at least give you a decent trim if you wanted?’ He offered Emori and Raven.

I shook my head. “Thanks for the offer, I’ll think about it.’ I looked to the girls to see >

< a kid, my dad had one of those old school barber shops, he made me work there on weekends. I got pretty good… if you want, I could give you a trim.’ He glanced at the guy who must be his supervisor when Shaw wasn’t here. ‘You know… when we're off shift.’

‘Wait…’ Bellamy said. ‘You mean like a >

< completely not funny the there was no other way to react.

‘Wow!’ Bellamy shook his head, letting Rey’s hand slip free to drag his fingers through his hair. ‘That was terrible.’

Another one of the guys in the room was watching the way Bellamy tousled his hair. ‘Hey… you know when I was >

< gesturing like he was about to perform a miracle.

‘Why don’t astronauts ever get lost?’ He beamed…. No one responded; we just stared and waited. ‘Because space always has directions… It’s up there!’

We all looked at each other and laughed… but because it was funny. Because it was so >

< grinned… Bellamy, clutching at his imaginary pearls like a few swear words, wounded his less-than-delicate sensibilities. But again… that strange way these people spoke about women… like they were… weaker. I didn’t get it.

‘Okay… ready?’ The guy asked, turning in his seat and >

< But what was I feeling? Not jealous… not possessive… just like this act of her reaching across me to him somehow connected the three of us… Bellamy and I, are far from 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙, we had just barely passed 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧… maybe even 𝙘𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙡.

Bellamy and I looked at eachother and >

I probably wouldn’t have felt this strangeness if Raven had just taken Blake’s hand, but with me sitting between them, there was an energy. A weird intimacy that I wasn’t prepared to share with Bellamy Blake in the mix. If it had been Luna… Emori… then I might not have really felt anything. But >

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YouTube video by Phillip Phillips - Topic Before I Loved You

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"Oh so you prefer face-to-face?"

Grins.

"I have no objections to that."

Grins watching her walk away.

“Not a bad veiw from behind either.”

"See, and then you flip from cute and concerned to sexy and sarcastic."

“I’ll try… but only because you’re cute when you worry about me.”

“Going soft on me stargazer?”

Smiles.

“I have all the people I need… more than I ever thought possible.”