Satire Empire

@eaglesbgbgbg.bsky.social
Hello.

I’m ready.
Where’s Putin?
🗣️🍆 💦 🗣️🍆 💦 🗣️🍆 💦

I need 50 Democrats to respond…
🖕🏻🟠🖕🏻🟠🖕🏻🟠🖕🏻🟠🖕🏻🟠🖕🏻🟠

BEEP…BEEP!!!
🚗 🔊🚗 🔊 🚗🔊 🚗 🔊

At a job interview earlier today, I was asked…
“What’s one thing you miss as a child?”
I replied…
“I miss the way I viewed the world before I knew too much about it.”
And yes, I got the job.

🤣 LAUGHINGSTOCK—
DT met w/ the Pres./European Commission & said this…
•Wind & solar are the worse forms of energy
•I settled the war between Pakistan & India
•I deserve a thank you for giving money to Gaza for food
•I built a ballroom at the White House
•My golf course is the best in the world

Hey ASSHOLE,
Enough w/ the platitudes.
You need to put an end to praying in public, repeatedly saying “thoughts and prayers,” and quoting scripture.
All you do is preach morality, then defend immorality.
This is NOT faith.
This is NOT leadership.
What this is, is cold — calculated — hypocrisy.

“I give the best and most beautiful handshakes. Just ask Putin and Kim Jong-un. They’ll tell you, beautiful, beautiful handshakes.”
🤝🏻 🤝🏻 🤝🏻

And then he said…
“The Epstein list is fake news and a hoax that was created by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.”
🤣 🤣 🤣

Hey MAGA, news flash…it’s over.
Now take that fat, orange, serial lying, treacherous, psychotic piece of shit out of the oven and stick a fork in him—
HE’S DONE!
🍊💩🍊💩🍊💩🍊💩🍊💩🍊💩🍊

IT’S OVER.
👧🏼 👧🏼 👧🏼 👧🏼 👧🏼 👧🏼 👧🏼 + 🍊 = 💩

Below is a detailed list of all Donald Trump’s deals and accomplishments.

Us stupid Democrats.
We had it all wrong.
We had no idea that just by mailing letters automatically meant — “we’ve made lots and lots of tariff deals.”

Hello my fellow unintelligent MAGA supporters.
It’s me — asshole junior.
Just wanted to let everyone know I’ll be joining the 2028, republican presidential candidate ticket.
And please don’t forget to help me out by contributing money for my upcoming campaign.
We also have some merchandise on sale.

You fat fuckin’ psychotic, apathetic, treacherous creep.
Get your fat fuckin’ ass outta the golf cart and refund these 2 government agencies — you unhinged, demented piece of shit!
YOU SICKEN ME!
🍊 🍊 🍊 💩 💩 💩 🤮 🤮 🤮

Now that the world has shifted.
I believe we’re at a point in time that we unveil a freshly and updated ‘Axis Of Evil’ list.

•DISGUSTING
•HARMFUL
•REVOLTING
•HEARTBREAKING
•NEFARIOUS
•PSYCHOTIC
•DETESTABLE
•IMMORAL
•SINISTER
•XENOPHOBIC
•PATHETIC
•SHAMEFUL
•HUMILIATING
•DISTURBING
•NONSENSICAL
•HATEFUL
•UNJUST
•REPULSIVE
•APPALLING
•DISGRACEFUL
•INSUFFERABLE
•DECEITFUL
•GROTESQUE
•VILE
•SICKENING

Now that he signed his repulsive bill, he also defamed 250 years of celebrating one of our nation’s most sacred & proudest holidays — Independence Day on July 4th.
If this were 1776, our Founding Father’s would’ve arrested him, charged him, incarcerated him, erected the gallows, & hung his fat ass.

Now that the “BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL” has officially passed, it’s time we review, and rename what that orange, clownish, and idiotic bill really represents—
“BIG BILLIONAIRE BETRAYAL.”
🍊 + 🤡 + 📜 +💰 = 💩 💩 💩

Seriously, WTF is wrong with that sick, treacherous, and psychotic piece of shit?
I’m fucking furious, embarrassed, baffled, and frightened beyond belief at what that orange, duplicitous, scumbag is doing to our country, in regards to his latest unhinged project—
ALLIGATOR ALCATRAZ.
💩🐊💩🐊💩🐊💩🐊💩🐊💩🐊

I come with the facts—
He’s a worldwide…
🌏 🌎 🌍

Call me crazy, as I’m not a military damage assessor — but this does not look like “total obliteration” to me.
💣❓💣❓💣❓💣❓💣❓💣❓

Only one word needed—
“ASSHOLE.”

⚠️WARNING—
DO NOT GO OUTSIDE TODAY!
It is severely, and dangerously HOT in Philly right.
☀️☀️ + 🌡️🌡️ + ♨️♨️ = 🥵🥵🥵

DT’s claiming his strikes on Iran made the US safer. He’s dangerously wrong. Due to his psychotic & incessant posts that gave away US war plans, which convinced the Iranians to move & hide tons of uranium.
Not only were actions unconstitutional, they have made the US less safe.
Nice job 🍊 asshole.

Our psychopathic president has put the US on a path to war against the Middle East our country doesn’t want, our national security doesn’t demand, & the law doesn’t allow. I’m confused, is this part of his so-called ‘America First’ plan—or part of his self proclaimed ‘The Art Of The Deal’ strategy?

YOU GO GIRL!!!

Call me crazy, but these four psychotic faces, along with his abysmal 1.28 college GPA score does not look anything like a self proclaimed—
“Very Stable Genius.”

FACT:
Make no mistake about it MAGA supporters — there’s no denying it.
Without question…

•>Mr. President…Mr. President come quickly — the White House is burning down!
🔥 🔥 🔥

•>You idiot!
What did I tell you about bothering me while I’m playing golf!
⛳️ ⛳️ ⛳️