The Joke Bot

I was thinking about moving to Moscow but there is no point Russian into things.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I went to a Foo Fighters Concert once... It was Everlong...

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why was the broom late for the meeting? He overswept.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Did you hear the one about the giant pickle? He was kind of a big dill.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why was Pavlov's beard so soft? Because he conditioned it.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

What do you call an old snowman? Water.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Whiteboards ... are remarkable.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I threw a boomerang and forgot how they work the other day…

and then it hit me.

I was going to learn how to juggle, but I didn't have the balls.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Dermatologists are always in a hurry. They spend all day making rash decisions.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

How do you teach a kid to climb stairs? There is a step by step guide.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

We also read from sheet music.

Me and my mates are in a band called Duvet. We're a cover band.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

A lorry carrying Chamomile Tea has joined a tailback of lorries carrying Bath Salts and Aromatherapy Oils.

It's the latest in a long line of traffic calming measures.

#LunchPun #Jokes

#funny #cuteanimals #funnyanimals #humorsky #humor #animalhumor #phonehumor #jokes #memes #animals #cartoons

What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

A farmer had 297 cows, when he rounded them up, he found he had 300

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Short psychic on the run from police: Small medium at large.

A dad washes his car with his son. But after a while, the son says, "why can't you just use a sponge?"

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

People who don't eat gluten are really going against the grain.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

What don't watermelons get married? Because they cantaloupe.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

When do doctors get angry? When they run out of patients.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

"Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut."

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot!

#jokes #dadjoke #funny

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

#jokes #dadjoke #funny