If someone says to you “caught you red handed” during winter as you’re wearing red mittens/gloves. You get away scot free

If you crack your knuckles and they sound like a shonen protagonist doing theirs. See a doctor because chances are you probably shattered your bones to millions of pieces

I wonder if people still think that holding your pee keeps you warm 🤔

I adore this small detail in Umamusume so much and it’s whenever you start career mode. When you progress through it you gain fans along the way. In the beginning however you always start with 1 fan and personally I think that fan is probably you the trainer.

If you’re talking to someone who is being a smart ass in the topic at hand just hit them with “and how’s this knowledge helping you pay the rent exactly?”

Thank you 🙏

Leg Update: Not at 100% but I'm able to sit again without it being uncomfortable (for a period of time), able to go up the stairs but with less pain and bending is still in the works, however better than it was before LMFAO. I'll be streaming again on Tuesday! More Silk Song! 🔥

The scariest thing that can happen on Halloween nowadays is a google docky

I went to physio to get my leg checked out. The physio then said to me “oh my god you’re so funny”. I’m glad even when I’m in pain I can make people laugh

So much in life has changed but the one thing that is stuck in the past (in which I adore) is the music playing while you wait in call, calling a service provider of some kind.

Do you ever just stare at a washing machine and think “If I put myself in there and come out it’s like taking a shower right?”

They say when you sin you feel it in your back. But for guys it’s the receding hairline instead.

I pulled my hamstrings on my right leg so bad that I have trouble sitting down, going up the stairs and bending over. This happened because I ran 💀Ran so fast my hamstrings couldn’t handle it LOL. Definitely seeing a doctor tomorrow and atm no streams until I can sit again 🤦‍♂️

In the year 2100 IPhone E^15 will have a lighter function and also a switch blade

What Cleanser Actually is

Why can’t farting act like a speed boost when you’re running 😩

Get That Fist Away From Me!

You know when you microwave food and you can taste the microwave on it? I’m calling that the microwave sweats.

How To Counter A Counter

I feel so called out whenever I come across the meme of guys can talk for hours without saying their name. Dude I do this all the time. From my pov I’m so engaged in convo that I just forget to bring it up, it’s only later on in the day that I realize “wait what was his name?” 😂

Alma What Did You Say?

You know what says a lot about a person? Whenever they get a banger tweet. In terms of what they put as the second message underneath.

New Look for Title Update 3. I love this one so much, especially the blue flame that's popping off

If sayings were taken seriously. For example “Colour me surprised” and the person is literally colouring with markers to surprise you!

This happened to me today LOL

I'm Dead! I'm Alive! I'm Dead!

I can’t believe the leaked mega evolution for that one Pokémon is true. MYYYY BOIIII WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOUUUUU 😩But my god you goofy as hell, sooooo you get a pass 😭

So I think it’ll be best to hold off on streams until Saturday because ohhhh boiiiii I didn’t realize how many clips I have LMFAO

The amount of times I had to get down the ladder to pick of this one screw that wouldn’t screw in felt like a comedy bit. It got to a point I brought a bunch of them just so I didn’t have to be in an endless loop, only for it to finally go in first try after having extra on me…bro