Emma

But they'll give Starmer a peace prize, on the plus side.

Human sized rabbit

I know. Everyone goes on about it. Not seen it though.

I don't think my eyesight is too bad yet, but I did just salute some geese thinking they were magpies

Is this Larry David?

Thanks so much to the random alarm that went off at 4.30am on Sunday morning for no apparent reason whatsoever.

I suppose maybe I should have read it. BUT police shouldn't be messing about eating lamb.

Also, "hello police, would you like to come in and eat some food I'm cooking whilst you're on duty?" "Yes, that's fine, that absolutely seems like something the police would do. We also have all the time in the world".

I don't mean he's ok. I'm pronouncing it Ock.

Pub Duke of OK missing the y and r

Andrew's new title

We're on to mad managers. This is my wheelhouse. I hope it's mascots next.

In a pub with partner and friend. Friend has made a friend before I came and everyone is chatting but about football and I feel really rude but I can't join in cos I hate football.

It's fucked

*optimistically dries hair all nice* ...

Love Northern Rail. There's no better way of saying this train isn't going anywhere than inviting people to "get out on the platform and stretch your legs". How kind!

Telegraph suggesting vegetarianism causes cancer

They're not taking it well...

I don't because you're not going to change anything by being outraged and if you have to keep saying "this is appalling" when it's really obvious it is, there's something a bit suspect about you.

You mean people who do this on a zebra crossing. You're supposed to stop.

So did my ex. Grrrr..

My friend Joel wanted to change his name to Joel E Taxi. Only mildly related.

Jesus Christ. I am so tired.

You know Jesus with the 40 days and 40 nights? Well, I'm trying to get somewhere after work by Northern rail so.... I think we know who won that one....

😆 I love all this! I haven't seen his little face yet. Saving for later.

😆

Who?

Aye

Had a dream I was mates with someone who worked for The Milk Marketing Board and they WOULD NOT stop going on about it.

If you're having a bad day, just engulf yourself with kittens.

Ohhhh it's a woman?

😆😆😆😆😆 men 👍👍👍👍