zeeby

They really are the dumber generation

Our safeway finally had pork shoulder i cant wait to make carnitas for dinner!!!

Omg what i never knew this fun fact about you

I wonder if our dog thinks we’re weird because we sometimes just yell out of the blue WHY ARE YOU SO KYOOOOTTTT

I have demanded a driving range, oyster HH, and pedicure date with mr zeborah this weekend

I think I have a tentative itinerary for my bach fucking finally

Satan willing i will only have to go through this process once so i will buy all the bride things i want even though theyre temporary because im excited and i want fun bride things!!

One of the WAGs who works in the events industry (i.e. she is aware of the cost) told us all about this pretty lavish wedding she has already planned out and like I just wanna know how rich her parents are. She was describing a $100k+ wedding

Guys can you believe I’m surviving without my PEDs??

Locked out of my work account did i finally get fired

Planning my own bachelorette and bday trip kind of makes me feel like a loser lmfao it’s giving PLEASE PLAY WITH ME IM BEGGING YOU

Something I want to be clear on: I don't want your life story.

I’ve had call your mother once and my BEC on an everything bagel was sticky and sweet and it was a nightmare to eat so I never went back

I hate being in the office so much lol

Takes*

My friend is also a member of the same chain of gyms i just joined and she sent me her class schedule in case i wanna join her sometime and goddamn she rakes 7 classes a week. Good for you and also 🥵

I wore this during today’s workout and i actually liked it lol i forgot i had it on

This recruiter with a blocked number keeps calling. Why would you be in the cold call business with a blocked number?? Fucking moron

LEG DAY DONE 💪🏼

Look at this BUM

That stabbing thing is really confusing

I couldnt find the glute drive machine in the new gym i went to today and it was busy enough that i felt like i had to stare at people to see the machines and it was just uncomfy so i did other stuff 🥲

Someone was going 32 mph on 66. THIRTY FUCKING TWO. AND HAD THE AUDACITY TO BRAKE CHECK ME. WHY ARE YOU EVEN ALLOWED TO DRIVE??

I knew i was gonna be in and out of the house several times today so I took el perro to the dog park in the AM and he’s still mad at me for leaving him at home while I run my errands lol

ALSO i was turning right and waiting for a lady with her stroller to cross and THIS LADY BEHIND ME HONKS AT ME!!! I had already moved up past the line so it’s clear I’m paying attention. I turned the fuck around to yell and she was frantically waving SORRY SORRY 😂 jesus christ

I was waiting for this girl to be done with the hip abduction machine and she moved to another one nearby without cleaning it so I made a big show of cleaning it before using 😐 she did clean the next one after that though. Asshole

I wish gyms had a busy meter

People love to hear they look good. Respond to your friend’s story to say they look hot today (only if it’s true we can’t look hot every day)

And another!!

YES! Here’s one i just saw lol