Phill of the Future

Anita Darrrrling!

👏🏼✨️
I love eating salad, but ordering the salad? Hardest thing in the godamn world for spme reason 😫🤣

🤩💕✨️

No, no.
Youre quite mistaken, surely.
I was told repeatedly I was being dramatic for raising this concern 🙄🙄

Omg that looks so freaking bombbbbbb
Im in Reno for another month for a temp gig, I cant wait to get home and try this!
And by that I mean getting my sister in law to make it, when im in the kitchen..... bad things happen 😅

Looked it up and holy shit that sounds amazing,
Is there a particular recipe you followed? 😮💕✨️

Oh shiiiiiiit
You look awesome 🤩✨️

Thank youuuuuu🥰🥰🥰
I cant wait to try it with the fangs and contacts🧛‍♂️✨️

When you don't feel drunk at all....
But also are seeing double 😵💫💫💫

I will agree that I have the persistence required to capture a good selfie.
That is all.
For the number of times I'm on the edge of serious injury whilst contorting myself to achieve such illusions...
Is often.

Oh thats easy.
Trauma.✨️
The catch, is that the inexusable, untenable inciting moment is different for everyone.
But when that magical trauma(tm) ven diagram hits center for enough people, change happens.
Forthwith.
With violence.✨️
🥰

America is being run by people whose social media presence would see them getting fired from a part time job stacking shelves.
If you worked at Aldi and posted a video of you pouring shit all over Aldi customers, you wouldn't work at Aldi.

You.
Are.
Perfection.
😭💕✨️

Gurl I just ordered food for eleven on door dash.
Im blaming the Sunday scaries.

Mammals be having mammaries ma'am.
But.
We're the only one to keep them outside of active breastfeeding.
Because...
men be horndogs.

There never is, and never was, and never will be a badder bitch, amen.
🙏✨️

Trial run of the vampire costume im going to wear to our work party, red contacts and fangs are on the way!

Does this work?
He asks,
While doing all the works
😭🔥✨️

Is tbere a swoon emoji?
Because I need one 😍😍😍

Yesss
Loving the synergy 🤣🤣

😭😭😭😭
Damn nature twisted the knife on that one 💀

Getting dirty or getting clean? 🧼🫧🫧

To play with your hair, yes please.

Holy @#$% youre gorgeous 😭💖✨️

Gentrified ass chicken nuggies 😤

The way seeing this feels threatening now 🥲

🤣🤣

Omg so cute 😭💖✨️

Noooooo
I was literally like oh damn his hair looks so good here 🤣🤣
I love running my fingers through a man's hair though, so I am biased towards a bit of length there 😅

All great works of art deserve to be framed 🤩😍😍🤩