Joni Rae

A Very Rhode Island exchange with my mother:

Mom: “Your brother is seeing someone.”
Me: “Is she nice?”
Mom: “Yes- she brought clam chowder.”
Me: “White, red, or clear?”
Mom: “Clear!”
Me: “Ah, a true Rhode Islander!”
😂😂😂

New sticker in my shop! www.etsy.com/listing/4316...

Almond Moms? Cigarette Moms? I present you with Raccoon Mom.
Me: “On a run to Aldi, do you want anything?”
Willow: “What are you having for lunch?”
Me: “Oh I am not hungry.”
Willow: “Mom. You have to eat.”
Me: “It’s ok, I ate two tea cups of Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast.”
I’m the Raccoon Mom.

Do you ever wake up with a song in your head and then realize you had also been dreaming about that song?
Today it’s “M*rder at the Bingo Hall” (Amigo the Devil) and my dream was weeeeeeird.

That there is fancy food. We don’t have fancy food here. And all the pretty little containers? Wooow. What’s life like when you can afford that stuff? Probably pretty good.

Apparently, I really enjoy watching refrigerator restock videos even though I know I’m never going to be able to restock my fridge with any of that stuff.

I eat gluten-free tortillas, he will not…. Tortillas are incredibly important to him. 😂

Gremlin: “Babe, I love you a lot… but please don’t ever ask me to give up tortillas for you.”

Me: “I love you a lot and I’d never ask you to!”

(We were talking about being gluten free.)

Pantry Stock Up Ideas | Joni Rae Get more from Joni Rae on Patreon

I made a pantry stock up list on my Patreon today- it’s full of the things I try to keep on hand when I’m preparing for a bad time. www.patreon.com/posts/pantry...

Cooper (15): “I would love to hang flowers and things on strings from my ceiling, cause I think it would be really pretty, but it would have to be kept really clean because otherwise it might attract spiders.
And I would really like the choice to spider or to not spider.”

😂

😂😂😂

Me: “I had a really weird dream.”
Him: “Did it involve men with tentacles again?”
Me: “No, we were opening up cans of spam… to find the prize.”
Him: “Wtf Joni Rae?”
Me: “I told you it was weird.”

Pretty much.

This Little Blue Fiesta- she’s been through so much and she’s still going…. that also is very 2025.

And of course she was in a much nicer, newer, fancy jeep while being uninsured. And she promised to fix my car and make me whole and then ghosted me with apparently no consequences.
Also very 2025.

Me out here driving around in my crumpled little car because I can’t get it fixed because the lady that rear-ended me was an uninsured motorist but it is all I have so I have to make the best of it. How very 2025.

My friends are always trying to pull me out of doom spiraling.
I’ve just had an entire lifetime of trying to anticipate every Bad Thing so I can be prepared for it.
I am so good at Anxiety, y’all. I should get a gold star for my efforts. 😂

I get it at Macy’s. It comes in a pretty bottle shaped like a high heel shoe

Oh god I can’t find my glasses without my glasses 😂

It’s a Bad Time over here

😂😂😂

Bank teller: “You smell so good! What is that?”
Me: “Uhhhh. It’s called Very Good Girl.”
🤭

Me: I am so productive today! I am getting so much done!
My truck: how about we break down in front of the grocery store and you are only wearing a sweatshirt and it’s 16 degrees f

It’s SO COLD in my studio (the heater can’t keep up) so I went in the house and made a coffee and got a little snacky snack of chocolate and nuts. I’m actually having a great day packing orders!

I’ve been noticing more and more that he seems to know exactly what I’m saying. I’m thinking about getting him those communication buttons for pets but I’m a little worried about what HE might have to say to ME!

I call for him and then hear him lumbering down the stairs and he trots into the kitchen. I said “my fault boy, I thought you were outside, my mistake.” And he just looks at me, sighs, and goes back upstairs.

So I’m in the kitchen about to make a sandwich and I hear the dogs outside asking to come in… I open the door, and in walks the dog we are fostering, but my big boy (Jackson) is nowhere to be seen…

Tooo late here I am 😂

I woke up and tried to check what time it was and immediately dropped my phone under the bed. Then I tried to check my watch and did it again. So I started my day, naked, crawling on the floor and trying to reach under the bed. O.O