I am not bothered by that one as much anymore but it still sticks around a little even after I integrated.

It was very useful for my system. It helped with talking to my therapist to be able to find a list of things since I had last talked to him. Also, having said things in public made it easier to get past the "this isn't real" self defense mechanism in my system.

My most productive time is when I am awake at 5AM.

Thanks, mostly I feel the same as I used to, I would say before I became aware of my system but I was periodically aware of it, or rather my front stuck alter Foreground was. He was just distracted and made to forget about it. Less unnecessary processing going on in my head now :-)

So that worked :-) Not an instantaneous integration but I feel it has started and is a continuing process. I don't know if this will be done in a day or if this process will take years. Either way it is good. Thanks for listening and being supportive!

Going to go to a large park and stand in the middle of the field in zero degree (F) weather. I will dress warmly :-)

Thanks, I feel like I am making a lot of progress.

I was forgetting I have one tomorrow. Need to go back and look at what I posted in order to remember what order things happened in.

I am doing very well, thanks.

Which population are you talking about?
In your system or in the world?
There are way too many people in the world to connect to :-)

Its the damned rabbits! I have to wait for spring now and see what survived the rabbit onslaught last year before I can plan what to try next. I am trying to minimize the use of chicken wire...

So this Sunday, 19-January-2025, at noon US central time Seer wants to try a healing. Send your positive thoughts, energy, and prayers my way. I will suspend my disbelief since I do think it very well might work.

I was thinking about my system this morning. My alter, Seer has a plan to bring us all together. Gatekeeper wanted to know if we were going to force Survivor to join us and we said no. Gatekeeper then joined us since that was what he was guarding against.

I have found the journaling to be very useful. I have gotten useful comments from other systems and it helps me keep track of the timeline of when things happened. I always look back at the dates on my posts and use them to have some notes when I talk to my therapist.

So I am now Peter, I am myself, I am the superset of my known alters. I feel like myself but everything feels easier. Foreground is very relieved after 50 years to no longer be in front. I am him and most of the rest of me as well. The trauma is still separate for a while longer. We/I will heal.

For the most part I feel locations for the alters in my system. He feels like most of the left side in my head. He accepted us, welcomed us back. He was so quiet, we had no idea he was there. We are all just us, just me, Peter.

Thank you, we are OK. We just had a transcendent moment this morning. We held the car and talked to him. His only name is our name.

Wow. I was not expecting to find a little in my system. He was really hiding well. Our friend spotted him, we were totally unaware of him. We saw him when he said goodbye to our friend today. We gave him a toy car, he loves it.
I thought I had my system just about figured out...

My executive function is variable. In a real crunch I can function just fine. If a deadline is far off it often goes missing.

I know that if I were terminally ill I would want the option when I felt the time was right.

Heal and grow, become your best self and outlive all of your enemies. Then at a very advanced age go out in the way of your choosing.

As I have found my alters who have been hiding I have been blending with my known alters and telling them they don't need to hide. I have helped them heal and now they can start to blend we me as well. I think my system is spending less energy doing unnecessary things now.

I just have one more sibling to talk to about my DID. I have had very good conversations with the other 9. I do need to check back in with them because they are worrying about me. But I am actually doing a lot better than I have in the past (not that I was doing badly in the past).

I don't have a visualization but I do have a feeling of location for my alters. I (foreground) am in front. Background is behind me. Driver and Vizier are to my left. Paladin and Watcher are to my right. Gatekeeper is overhead. Survivor is woven throughout. Not sure where Sifu and Maker are.

Thank you for sharing that. I can feel that is has gotten some of my system thinking.

There wasn't any strife to resolve, just stubborn, quiet insistence. The insistence is gone, yes.

Back to me: I hope he is wrong.

The first step will be to use federal power to work with local authorities to identify trans children and remove them from their homes by claiming child abuse.
They plan to use church run boarding schools to re-educate them.
If they succeed they plan to push things a lot further.

This is from Seer:
Beware of Project Xavier, the new administration will do everything in its power to harm the LGBT community, particularly the transgendered.

I have been avoiding posting it but I have let my other alters have their say.
So for me, I think these are educated guesses.
That is not how Seer sees it.
I am really not certain where the boundary between this alter and fantasy are but he is quietly insistent.

So I have an alter that I call Seer.
I have been aware of him for a while but I have a hard time accepting him.
My problem is that I believe everything has a rational explaination.
Seer believes in the paranormal and has had something to say for a while.