Kat.

(condescendingly) Maybe learn something. Maybe read the wikipedia summary of a book sometime

The International Space Station orbits lazily above the Earth. An astronaut says "I'm so bored. You wanna fuck?" Another astronaut says "yea sounds good." The first astronaut smokes a cig and says "hey, that was great." The second one consults the official NASA fuck book and says "oh shit... did you follow protocol 2B?" They both see the semen free floating within the station. One shouts out "OH GOD... THE JIZZ!" The space station explodes.

and if not, can we at least have some noise at the funeral for the lunacy of the hours of internet trawling I did

if I ever manage to find and afford a second-hand lambskin coat, can someone please make sure that I'm buried in it

A man with a jagged, downward-facing penis stands in front of a graph. He looks unhappy. A man in a suit reviewing this says "no no no, these figures are terrible. Fetch the man with the upward penis." The downward penis man is taken away and replaced with a more optimistic jagged upward penis man. The man in the suit says "yes. much better."

A man says "there's so much hate in my heart." He picks up a Flying V and says "my only instinct is to write incredibly hostile riffs." Another man comes in and says "I'd like to listen." They both have a wonderful time.