Hell yeah, gonna get spooked
06.03.2026 00:19 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Hell yeah, gonna get spooked
06.03.2026 00:19 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Tired: congeal
Wired: jamify
Adventures in public transit
05.03.2026 22:53 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I am not gonna get to my massage on time lolsob
05.03.2026 22:53 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Sophie . It *did* siense. It siensed exactly the way it was supposed to.
05.03.2026 22:47 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0THE PECTIN SERVES A PURPOSE SOPHIE!!!!!!
05.03.2026 22:43 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Me, trying to explain “going for a massage” to Coleslaw: I gotta go get my body rubbed—ew, no, that’s gross. I…daddy pets! I’m gonna go get daddy pets! No, stop, that’s even worse…
05.03.2026 22:36 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0that’s what I thought
05.03.2026 17:47 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0are YOU a registered dietician?
05.03.2026 17:44 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Texts I send my nutritionist: does a whole block of pepper jack cheese count as a vegetable
05.03.2026 17:36 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Hydrated. Moisturized. Ergonomically supported. In his own lane. Thriving.
05.03.2026 02:27 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0(slutty oliver twist voice) please sir, can I have some back shots
04.03.2026 22:40 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Good thing I got that massage tomorrow
04.03.2026 22:35 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Good news: I remembered to call the pain clinic this week!
Bad news: I can’t see my nurse to get TPI orders until the 23rd 😭
Omg crunchy tortilla + emotional support bean mush + crema corn salad + shreddy cheese MY LOVE
04.03.2026 19:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I do esquites on tostadas a lot!
04.03.2026 19:45 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0>:(
04.03.2026 19:05 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
My son: hey dad, why is my sister named Rose?
Me: because your mother and I agreed she could name her, and your mother loves roses more than anything else in the world
My son: aw, that’s sweet, thanks for telling me
Me: you’re welcome, Mattress
Hold on, let autocorrect speak
04.03.2026 17:04 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
If I had a nickel for every person in these birth records with the given name “Mattress,” I would have two (2) nickels.
Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
midnight dinner my beloved
04.03.2026 05:43 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I found a game that is just SORTING THINGS INTO CATEGORIES and whoops guess what I’ve been doing for the past seven plus hours without interruption
04.03.2026 05:43 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 3 📌 0As Esther clothed herself in royalty before facing Ahasuerus, so shall you clothed yourself in tea leaves before facing The Horrors
03.03.2026 19:59 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0annika you are asking me to chose my favorite child
03.03.2026 18:35 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Hello guess who has managed to sprain all three middle toes on their left foot by *spins wheel* wearing appropriate ergonomic footwear
03.03.2026 18:27 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Mr. Oven Repair is back!!!! With new glass!!!!
03.03.2026 16:20 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I am, once again, reading an old fic on somebody’s personal website like it’s 2005
03.03.2026 03:35 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0The presence of said dry kix is making Coleslaw, shall we say, anti-helpful
02.03.2026 23:01 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Have taken to my sickbed with a bowl of dry kix (my beloved)
02.03.2026 23:00 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 3 📌 0