Parody FIA

FIA president Mohammed Ben Sulayem has caused some surprise to F1 paddock onlookers with his own unique tribute to Lando Norris:

Max Verstappen has again criticised Netflix for false Drive to Survive storylines.

Verstappen is reportedly disappointed the 2025 edition did not emphasise how he nearly won the championship in the slowest car in history despite George Russell deliberately crashing into him.

Following their testing difficulties, Aston Martin have worked with Honda on a new, improved B-spec version of their 2026 F1 car:

After showing promising pace in testing, Ferrari race strategists have been working hard at Maranello to ensure they can continue to meet fan expectations of a questionable strategy and delivering an underwhelming P7 and P8 finish in Melbourne.

BREAKING: Honda F1 are to rebrand their engines as Stroll F1 to avoid being dumped by Aston Martin.

Aston Martin are unimpressed by Ferrari’s 180 degree rear wing, with Lance Stroll having tested his own interpretation of a reverse rear wing last season.

Fernando Alonso has enquired about a free senior citizen bus pass, believing a bus will lap faster than his Honda engined Aston Martin.

The FIA are excited to introduce ‘Interactive Fan Zones’.

These allow fans onto the track during races, allowing cars to slow down before corners to recover energy.

Interactive Fan Zones will be used at:

- Eau Rouge, Spa
- 130R, Suzuka
- Maggots-Becketts-Chapel, Silverstone

Max Verstappen’s unhappiness with current F1 & claims of ‘anti-racing’ are believed to stem from two sources:

- Penalising Verstappen for deliberately crashing into other drivers.

- Recent lack of interference from the race director in key races, such as the 2025 Abu Dhabi GP.

The FIA express their concern and disappointment at reports that Red Bull are a second a lap faster on the straights than other teams.

It was hoped this advantage would be at least two or three seconds.

The Cadillac F1 management team are confident they can reach the Super Bowl by 2028 and win the World Series by 2030.

Ferrari will become the first F1 team to introduce driver radio hold music to keep their drivers calm while engineers are ‘checking’. Options will include:

- Oops! I Did It Again
- My Favourite Mistake
- If I Could Turn Back Time
- Benny Hill theme

Kanye West will not feature.

Kim Kardashian is set to be confirmed as Lewis Hamilton’s new race engineer following news of the pair partaking in intensive team building exercises in the Cotswolds.

Aston Martin are concerned they may be carrying as much as 80kg of dead weight in their 2026 car:

The delay in Christian Horner’s investment in Alpine is believed to be due to assurances to his wife that he will not be working closely with any female employees.

To further that image of the team, Horner has insisted the team changes it’s name to Allpenis.

Aston Martin have been delayed in attending the Barcelona test as they are having to listen to all of Fernando Alonso’s complaints about the Honda engine.

Ferrari’s active aero front wing on the SF-26 has the unique ability to fold in on itself.

This is in an effort to minimise damage from Charles Leclerc’s inevitable wall crashes.

Audi F1 team principal Jonathan Wheatley has targeted making Audi “the most successful team in F1 history”.

Wheatley will start this journey by lodging a protest with the FIA to overturn the last 20 years of F1 world championship results in Audi’s favour.

Ferrari have taken on board Audi criticisms of the HP blue/Ferrari red clash on their 2025 livery design with a new for 2026 livery:

Riccardo Adami will leave Lewis Hamilton’s side of the Ferrari garage to join Ferrari’s academy, where he will learn to become a proper race engineer.

Red Bull admit they are delighted to put a gloss finish on their new 2026 livery.

This comes after years of the team taking the gloss off of past successes through rule breaking and general misconduct.

Ferrari are set to miss the first pre season test in Barcelona.

Chairman John Elkann believes that with Ferrari having such a world class technical team, there is no need for any unnecessary chatter or input from the drivers on the new car arising from testing.

Rumours of unequal treatment persist at Red Bull as leaked photos of Isack Hadjar’s 2026 Red Bull raises concerns:

The FIA is working closely with US officials on two new United States Grand Prix.

One in Venezuela and the other in Greenland.

Red Bull have vigorously defended themselves against recent accusations of favouring Max Verstappen to the extent of having a detrimental effect on the second driver.

Red Bull insist Sergio Perez, Liam Lawson and Yuki Tsunoda all had access to the latest spec car:

BREAKING: Ferrari are confident that this year will be their year.

Merry Christmas from all those who think the FIA and its president did a good job this year:

George Russell has reportedly told friends and family he doesn’t want anything for Christmas, as costing Max Verstappen a world championship was the gift he needed for 2025.

F1 ALTERNATIVE STATS

Championships won without Adrian Newey designed cars:

L Hamilton - 7
M Schumacher - 7
J M Fangio - 5
A Prost - 3
J Brabham - 3
J Stewart - 3
N Lauda - 3
N Piquet - 3
A Senna - 3
A Ascari - 2
G Hill - 2
J Clark - 2
E Fittipaldi - 2
F Alonso - 2
L Norris - 1

Ferrari driver Charles Leclerc attended the FIA Gala after being convinced by the more delusional elements of his fan base that beating 40 year old Lewis Hamilton in the standings meant he would receive an Honorary 7-Time World Champion award.