Parody FIA

The FIA are set to cancel races in Bahrain and Saudi Arabia.

This is in order to sustain interest beyond the end of April in a Mercedes dominated championship where cars are forced to slow down before the end of a straight.

Honda are eagerly aiming to convince Aston Martin to revive Honda’s ‘Earth Car’ livery.

Honda believe that Aston Martin doing so few laps and utilising only a limited amount of spare parts can only be seen as a positive for the environment.

BREAKING: FIA stewards are considering excluding George Russell’s Mercedes from qualifying.

Russell is being investigated for not slowing down sufficiently midway down the back straight under GREEN flag conditions.

Ferrari have reassured their fans that they will not go winless in 2026 following Australian GP qualifying.

The team were quick to point out they had already won the Pre Season Winter Testing World Championship in Bahrain.

BREAKING: Honda deny their energy recovery system is powered by hamster wheels.

Claims a shortage of hamsters are curtailing Aston Martin’s mileage have also been denied.

Meanwhile, the FIA have confirmed a 5 place penalty for any hamsters used outside of the agreed allocation.

Sky Sports F1 have wasted no time in finding a replacement for Danica Patrick:

Ferrari have taken their reversible rear wing to a new level, which will now see their cars convert into Transformers mid race and destroy opposition cars (except Aston Martins, which will self destruct).

Ferrari believe the system to be within the spirit of FIA regulations.

FIA president Mohammed Ben Sulayem has caused some surprise to F1 paddock onlookers with his own unique tribute to Lando Norris:

Max Verstappen has again criticised Netflix for false Drive to Survive storylines.

Verstappen is reportedly disappointed the 2025 edition did not emphasise how he nearly won the championship in the slowest car in history despite George Russell deliberately crashing into him.

Following their testing difficulties, Aston Martin have worked with Honda on a new, improved B-spec version of their 2026 F1 car:

After showing promising pace in testing, Ferrari race strategists have been working hard at Maranello to ensure they can continue to meet fan expectations of a questionable strategy and delivering an underwhelming P7 and P8 finish in Melbourne.

BREAKING: Honda F1 are to rebrand their engines as Stroll F1 to avoid being dumped by Aston Martin.

Aston Martin are unimpressed by Ferrari’s 180 degree rear wing, with Lance Stroll having tested his own interpretation of a reverse rear wing last season.

Fernando Alonso has enquired about a free senior citizen bus pass, believing a bus will lap faster than his Honda engined Aston Martin.

The FIA are excited to introduce ‘Interactive Fan Zones’.

These allow fans onto the track during races, allowing cars to slow down before corners to recover energy.

Interactive Fan Zones will be used at:

- Eau Rouge, Spa
- 130R, Suzuka
- Maggots-Becketts-Chapel, Silverstone

Max Verstappen’s unhappiness with current F1 & claims of ‘anti-racing’ are believed to stem from two sources:

- Penalising Verstappen for deliberately crashing into other drivers.

- Recent lack of interference from the race director in key races, such as the 2025 Abu Dhabi GP.

The FIA express their concern and disappointment at reports that Red Bull are a second a lap faster on the straights than other teams.

It was hoped this advantage would be at least two or three seconds.

The Cadillac F1 management team are confident they can reach the Super Bowl by 2028 and win the World Series by 2030.

Ferrari will become the first F1 team to introduce driver radio hold music to keep their drivers calm while engineers are ‘checking’. Options will include:

- Oops! I Did It Again
- My Favourite Mistake
- If I Could Turn Back Time
- Benny Hill theme

Kanye West will not feature.

Kim Kardashian is set to be confirmed as Lewis Hamilton’s new race engineer following news of the pair partaking in intensive team building exercises in the Cotswolds.

Aston Martin are concerned they may be carrying as much as 80kg of dead weight in their 2026 car:

The delay in Christian Horner’s investment in Alpine is believed to be due to assurances to his wife that he will not be working closely with any female employees.

To further that image of the team, Horner has insisted the team changes it’s name to Allpenis.

Aston Martin have been delayed in attending the Barcelona test as they are having to listen to all of Fernando Alonso’s complaints about the Honda engine.

Ferrari’s active aero front wing on the SF-26 has the unique ability to fold in on itself.

This is in an effort to minimise damage from Charles Leclerc’s inevitable wall crashes.

Audi F1 team principal Jonathan Wheatley has targeted making Audi “the most successful team in F1 history”.

Wheatley will start this journey by lodging a protest with the FIA to overturn the last 20 years of F1 world championship results in Audi’s favour.

Ferrari have taken on board Audi criticisms of the HP blue/Ferrari red clash on their 2025 livery design with a new for 2026 livery:

Riccardo Adami will leave Lewis Hamilton’s side of the Ferrari garage to join Ferrari’s academy, where he will learn to become a proper race engineer.

Red Bull admit they are delighted to put a gloss finish on their new 2026 livery.

This comes after years of the team taking the gloss off of past successes through rule breaking and general misconduct.

Ferrari are set to miss the first pre season test in Barcelona.

Chairman John Elkann believes that with Ferrari having such a world class technical team, there is no need for any unnecessary chatter or input from the drivers on the new car arising from testing.

Rumours of unequal treatment persist at Red Bull as leaked photos of Isack Hadjar’s 2026 Red Bull raises concerns: