My unfriendly neighbor rung beautiful Christmas lights and all is good in the world. (For a change, I’m not being what my ex Katie called—affectionately—her “sarcasshole”

Good lord he’s a shitheel.

I, for one, welcome out socialist Scandinavian brothers and sisters. And also our North Eastern African kin. All are loved in our America. There’s plenty of room here.

Says the idiot who got into Dook via geographic diversity.

“ICE+Fůhrer” is perfect. May it stick to him like an insoluble residue.

Were later made into schnitzel with Slovenian recipe. Been best.

They’re like bedbugs. They keep cropping up.

Nothing says “Je t’adore” like a toilet. But if you want to take your vie d’amour to the niveau suivant, get a bidet.

Quelle romantique!

What guy doesn’t exaggerate the size of his shoes, amiright?

Pete Hegseth Invokes ‘Fog Of War’ After Pissing In Break Room Refrigerator ARLINGTON, VA—Describing the incident as a split-second operational judgment made under rapidly evolving conditions, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth invoked the “fog of war” Thursday to explain why he ...

“In the heat of the moment, you’ve got to make a decision, and sometimes that decision is imperfect,” said Hegseth, arguing that under the intense pressure of warfare it can be nearly impossible to distinguish between a porcelain urinal and a white refrigerator.

theonion.com/pete-hegseth...

From your lips to God’s ears. That’s what I keep telling her.

What a cutting figure!

My best friend married a man from Jamaica. They didn’t work out. She (my friend) is incredulous that her ex is in danger, because he has permanent residence status. I keep saying that he’s bat risk. She, ever kind, looks at me like I’m from Mars. Welcome to Mars, my love!

Ima steal that punim!

What about the invisible hand?

When our twins were in kindergarten and their little brother was in preschool, we lived in a small town in central Illinois, one of just three Jewish families there. For the winter concert, the school put up in the gym a huge construction-paper Frosty wearing a kippah. It was actually very sweet.

Happy Krampusnacht, to those who celebrate.

I have nothing to add except rage and bile.

Kamala dared to laugh and be at once Black and Jamaican and South Asian—and she laughed, like some girl, cooties!—and she’s a woman. Bottom line, tho, she picked up the baton late and is BIPOC. Plus, she laughed, like some harpy.

We’re such a nation of idiots.

@jeffsharlet.bsky.social @cripdyke.bsky.social

Thanks for being such gracious, not-Xitty folks. I worried that I had breached decorum. Jeff, we were in touch about a possible projects when I was at Iowa, and I’d read anything @cripdyke.bsky.social writes.

Maybe @jeffsharlet.bsky.social can offer insights. He wrote the book on “The Family.”

I remember seeing this Loony Tune bit as a kid and not batting an eyelash. www.instagram.com/reel/DJrtjsp...

Watch Trump lose the second thread of the conversation—after not knowing who “this is a man” man is—at around :35.

I’d have to he awfully bored and lonely (not simply alone) to watch this one.

Nah. You can hate watch a terrible show or movie that you’re already paying for as part of a package—I’m looking at you “Tulsa King”—but books aren’t streamed.

My Order to Kill Everyone and Everything Was Taken Out of Context “[Secretary of War] Hegseth ordered a lethal attack but not the killing of survivors, officials say… Amid talk of war crimes, the details and preci...

“Just because I said ‘Blow up the boat and everyone on it’ doesn’t mean I literally wanted to do those things. Ever heard of a rhetorical device? The media can’t handle nuance or irony.”

www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/my-...

Fixed:

Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like nobody’s watching.
Drool like no one is filming,
and live like it’s heaven on earth.

No Brandeis? Damned goyim…

Hey, Dad. Timing is everything, right, Dad?

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...