Jesse

I got this weird note from Donald Trump for my birthday

Never seen a post curdle as you read it

By a 6-3 vote, the Supreme Court has declared Donald Trump "an innocent little doodler"

"I know how Donald Trump talks to pedophiles, and it's not like this"

-J.D. Vance

Who hasn't innocently written to Jeffrey Epstein about your mysterious shared interests?

Everyone?

Oh

Bah gawd, that's Greg Gutfeld's music!

It's like I say to all my friends: happy birthday, and thanks for all the unspeakable crimes

All these people are gross

Donkey Kong Bananza answers the question: what if an ape could punch

Bill O'Reilly is the median American voter

Amazing that the first true media scandal of the second Trump administration is "Trump very weird about pedophile who he hung out with and flew on his former plane during the campaign"

I have been thanked in many, many Marvel movies and now Superman. Haven't seen a single cent from any display of gratitude yet.

The O-Suite: A Tale Of Love, Deception, Business, and Coldplay

He's hiding the Epstein List in his socks, sheeple

the first movie is lost in a pandemic-era fog, and i'm pretty sure i watched it at 5 am on a tuesday

*wandering down the street as the earth opens up and swallows the world around me*

this is a distraction from the real issues

meanwhile, Coca Cola is like "new phone who dis"

AND THAT BABY IS BEEFIN'

get it, get it now, it's just so much anti-empire high drama

"At this Ohio county fair, nobody is too keen on Zohran Mamdani."

Zohran Mamdani did not win an election he was not running in and the NYT is ON IT

DADS! SAILORS! BE ON ALERT!

so, it's a debate club where your fellow debaters grade you on your virtues as you discuss hot-button issues

these grades are then used to determine, in part, whether you get into the most highly competitive schools in the country, while also creating a record of your positions on said issues

does anyone have the actual opinion about the medical debt rule? every single news story i can find fails to cite a case number, case caption, or a link to the opinion

Globalize the piña colada

*slaps the hood of my bluesky machine*

you can fit so much gibberish in this baby

watching the episode of the Valley where Brittany takes over Jax's bar and they somehow flawlessly recreate a Bar Louie's

If all these people don't want to vote for him, he might not be able to win

Biden, and may I add, old