Worf Email

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Commander Riker,

Are you aware that there is an Orion pornographic holodeck program that features you as one of the performers?

Worf

UNSUBSCRIBE

Geordi,

Do you know why the holodeck is not able to create a Charizard for me to battle? I wish to fight one directly.

Worf

Security personnel,

Commander Riker's backpack full of pokeballs was in his quarters the last time he saw it. Search the ship.

Worf

Mother,

How is Alexander? He does not write back to me. Please tell him there is great honor in calling one's father.

Worf

Commander Data,

I saw that you are listed as something called an Elector. Is that correct? There is a matter I would like to discuss.

Worf

Barclay,

No, there is no such thing as a butter bat’leth.

By definition a bat’leth is very sharp.

Worf

All crew,

The intruder turned out to be a child's toy. Captain Picard has cancelled the red alert. You may exit your quarters now.

Worf

Apologies. Apparently we cannot confine all girls to quarters because of an intruder. Only little human BLOND girls will be confined.

Worf

The energy being may have taken the form of a little human girl. For security, all little human girls are now confined to quarters.

Worf

SECURITY ALERT!

A small energy being has been seen in Enterprise corridors. If you see it, DO NOT APPROACH.

Worf

Security personnel,

Fight Club is canceled this week.

Worf

Commander Riker,

I strongly recommend that you stop trying to interact with the Klingon visitors while they are wearing headphones.

Worf

Geordi,

The vampire ships will reach us in less than two days. Have we saved enough daylight to arm all 47 daylight torpedoes?

Worf

Klingon High Council,

I know that my family name is still in disgrace. It is not necessary that you send me annual reminder emails.

Worf

Geordi,

No one has been receiving my emails for many months. This is a significant security risk and it must be fixed.

Worf

Security personnel,

Be advised that humans dressing up as stereotypical Klingons is not appropriate or humorous.

Worf

Engineering,

The current ship-wide malfunctions might be related to an attachment I emailed Lieutenant Commander La Forge recently.

Worf

Geordi,

The replicators cannot make raktajino (Klingon coffee). I request that you add this recipe to the databanks.

Worf

📎 raktajino.mol

Ensign,

I have not checked my email recently. Did anyone catch the glowing intruder? Next time call security via the comms.

Worf

Commander,

I have a sensitive matter to discuss with you. After the recent incident on the holodeck with the sentient Mario character and his mind control hat, I saw Geordi working in engineering wearing that same hat, a wide mustache, and white gloves.

Worf

Captain,

I apologize for my tardiness this morning. I make no excuse. This transgression will not happen again.

Worf

UFP Voter Registrar,

I am a Federation citizen who happens to be a Klingon. I have still not received my subspace ballot. Respond.

Worf

Alexander,

I hope you are well. In your Spacebook photo you appear to be inebriated. Have you tried Klingon bloodwine yet?

Father

Father,

Is there a voting guide for our local elections? I cannot tell from their statements which candidates have more honor.

Worf

Commander Data,

Tomorrow’s meeting has been canceled.

Worf

All crew,

After today's events, the Captain says that crew members who wish to carry a phaser must be approved by Counselor Troi.

Worf

Geordi LaForge,

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

- Worf SonOfMogh

Fine. I will see you then.

Riker said:
>1900 hours

>Worf said:
>>Commander Riker,

>>What time is poker next week?

>>Worf