Philippa

Just gonna be me living there.

Too late! It’s official!

So I’ve officially bought a house. And I move in on the 10th of October.

Let the adulting commence!

*A few hours later*
Edd: I wonder how long that spider’s been there? I don’t remember hearing it knock on the door.

Me: Darling, can you get rid of the spider in the bathroom for me?
Edd: Okay. *enters bathroom, short pause*
Edd: FUCK THAT. It’s enormous. That’s the spider’s bathroom now. Where’s my deodorant?
Me: In the bathroom.
Edd: I’ll buy some more after I move house.

a close up of a man 's face with a smile on his face ALT: a close up of a man 's face with a smile on his face

I got some colossal good news today and I’m not used to the universe providing me with good news so excuse me if I act slightly more unhinged than usual for a little while.

Just had a panic attack while doing a lancet blood sugar test (yes I’m aware it’s daft but I have a good reason) and couldn’t get enough blood on the testing strip, and instead of saying “never mind, try again tomorrow” my dad started shouting at me and calling me a snowflake. 🙃

I tried not to let it bother me because I have piled on the weight lately and my posture was dreadful so I can see why she thought it, but it just stayed with me all day. ‘You’re fat enough to be two people’. 😔

a man with a mustache wearing a maroon shirt looks at the camera ALT: a man with a mustache wearing a maroon shirt looks at the camera

My neighbours have put up a wind chime. In Scotland. In summer. When everyone needs to have their windows open because AC isn’t a thing here and it’s hotter and more humid than Satan’s armpit.

Rare Non-Shit Thing Klaxon

Me: I’m determined that today will be a good day.

*less than an hour later*

Woman: Congratulations!
Me: ??
Woman: Oh! I thought you were pregnant. I’m so sorry.

Not pregnant. Just fat. 🙃

No new Funny-Hat-Wearer-In Chief yet then

Hahaha

We just went to Chiquitos for lunch and ordered mild burritos. I’ve been calling him a wimp the whole meal cos he’s been sweating and crying and it turns out the waitress got his wrong and made it hot 🤣 She took it off the bill and brought him milk and a free Coke and she feels awful but I’m howling

Photo shows a PlayStation 5 controller customised in orange and gold

My adorable bf has bought an extra PS5 controller and customised it for me (Leeloo from The Fifth Element) so we can play games together. 🥰🥹🎮

Started watching The Handmaid’s Tale yesterday. Not entirely sure it was the best idea considering the current political climate. It’s making me exceptionally nervous.

I would like for stupid people to stop making important decisions that affect my life

My Apple Watch told me I was a fat bastard yesterday (I’m paraphrasing somewhat) so I’m eating chicken salad for dinner for the second day in a row.

photo of a red shopping basket filled with turnips, under the headline: If you’re worried about food tariffs, adopt a frugal mindset and cook smarter Learn to shop for groceries like a thrifter and work on eliminating waste By Sheryl Julian Globe Correspondent,Updated April 7, 2025, 7:21 a.m. caption: The big question is, writes Sheryl Julian, are we expected to remove all the pleasures from the table and turn the nightly dinner into a feast of locally grown turnips (above) and leafy greens?Jessica Rinaldi/Globe Staff

you know things are going well when they break out the turnip photos

We got McDonalds today. Instead of ordering fries he got a *salad*. A salad, you guys. What alternate reality have I fallen into?

My boyfriend picked up a banana and started peeling it and I nearly died of shock, but he sprinkled sugar on it before he ate it, so business as usual, folks.

Does anyone wake up in the morning actually feeling refreshed and ready for the day? If so, share your secrets.

Just found out that a friend I haven’t seen or spoken to for a while but have known for many years died yesterday. 💔

It was! I’ve been to Durham Cathedral many times (bf used to go to the Chorister school and wanted to show me around) but the Chapter House wasn’t open for most of my visits.

none of the George Foreman obituaries have had the gumption to end with ‘he is survived by his sons, George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, George Foreman, and George Foreman’

McGonagall: “I assure you, the Philosopher’s Stone is perfectly safe.”
Edd: Unlike that desk.

😒

Guess who can’t watch HP1 with her boyfriend anymore without him making a comment about destroyed tables…

(For the record, I did NOT destroy anything. My phone landed flat and didn’t damage the table… I apologised to the staff present and they found it amusing)

The scene in the first Harry Potter film in McGonagall’s classroom (where she transforms from cat to human) was filmed in Durham Cathedral.

I visited that exact room last year, and whilst taking photos I accidentally dropped my phone on a large and possibly old table and it made a bit of a bang.