Brian Firenzi

Shitting wet is now political. This is what the left takes from you

Extremely dumb gimmick account enabled me to briefly create a piece of art for Paul F. Tompkins

Wife-acquiring

Santa Cruz’ insistence on being part of The Bay Area might wane one SF and SJ fully implode. Too bad “Central Coast” means nothing to anyone and is functionally the same as calling it The Void

I say this with love, some of you are going to lose your life savings to a man who says you have parking tickets that can only be paid in Target gift cards

U2’s All That You Can’t Leave Behind. So schmaltzy that it jacked me out of the All Radio Rock Is Inherently Good matrix

Is the irony of the president’s friend buying something called “the free press” and immediately installing a government truth compliance officer lost on everybody?

feels like we're living through some kind of cultural gas leak

Rolling Stone reviewing the new Taylor Swift album

one of the weirder parts of this wave of total surrender of core civil liberties is there is no fucking reason for it. no world war 2, not even a 9/11. we're just bored and mad

I love hearing people’s takes on why ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER is bad, because no art is truly impeachable and all opinions are equally valid, unless you have a blue check on Twitter in which case haha eat my shit you fuckass

Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From LONDON—Claiming that he recognized the member of the royal family, but his memory was hazy, President Donald Trump has spent his entire trip to the U.K. trying to figure out where he knows Prince Andr...

Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From

It’s not anti free speech, it’s pro free speech. For further clarification on this, please read the jumble of words that make up the next two sentences and pretend it makes sense

my guess is they slowly turn to a window and smile at nothing, as the camera pans slowly away from them

THE LONG WALK SPOILERS

There’s a guy who shits himself, we see his full butthole while doing this, and then he gets shot in the head. He has no lines and I’ve never seen this actor before.

Pillow embroidered with the words “Home is Where the Pumpkins Are”

To the tune of “Owner of a Lonely Heart”:

man they really didn't give a shit about that guy. as soon as it was clear they couldn't use his death to launch a purge they started to treat it like a nothingburger

Nancy Mace tweet: Time to bring back the death penalty superimposed on an image of Mr. Burns tenting his fingers as he talks to a crowd

Smithers whispers in Mr. Burns's ear

Mr. Burns pushes Smithers away

Nancy Mace tweet: We truly belive if Tyler Robinson had ever sat down across from Charlie, the great debater, the man of faith and grace he was Tyler wouldn't have pulled the trigger superimposed on an image of a chastened Mr. Burns speaking to the crowd about a different subject

Me doing the Dr. Manhattan meme but it’s 2000 and pets .com, etc

Most Eddington-coded part of the whole thing

dan bongino and kash patel lying unconscious on the ground after bonking their heads together as they both bent down to examine what is later determined to be their own footprints

Lose weight? Why, so I can shave and look like Dane DeHaan?

no offends if this is you but if you're thinking "this is going to make the right do fascism" they're already there. they blew up a boat with 11 people on it for being immigrants. they're kidnapping US citizens and trying to rendition them to Uganda. do you think we're on a trajectory to peace

Don't you all realize what this means? The right will begin a systematic and extralegal oppression of their political enemies and vulnerable populations. This is the first thing I saw on the news after waking up from a 25-year coma.

Just realized I posted this on Bluesky. Ordering 100-foot "This is a parody" banner on Amazon

Look, I voted for the military takeover of cities, the extrajudicial imprisonment of made-up enemies, a return to a culturally brutal time for everyone I hate, and the total collapse of our economy. But this Epstein stuff is not remotely a crossed line. I love it. I'm 48% of the country btw

walk

Looking like he was visited by the ghost of Labor Day past and got the shit kicked out of him by a bunch of teamsters

Nope, too many jokes in a row about him being dead, now he’s got to be alive.