Shelley

You have been deprived for far too long.

Gotta appreciate the efficiency of basically sexually harassing the entire embassy staff with one memo. Wait, no, you don't. What a dumb piece of shit.

Really want to hear more stories about that "controversial hotel/club owner."

Given the usual chaos of Italian politics, the latter seems entirely possible.

And yet Mercy continues to hog the couch and sleep peacefully, for she knows your threats are hollow.

Former Pats OL coach Dante Scarnecchia agrees with you, and he's pretty smart about that stuff.

That is the correct response.

BF would be sliding into the DMs of every woman. Every single (and not single) one.

I'm going to need a lot more Boopgate and Canadian-accented "fuck offs."

I walked past them and assumed it was a Make Way for Ducklings family reunion.

*points to spice rack* C'mon now.

I thought it meant "evil ort."

Keg stand!

Looks like he got a piece of the ref, too, but okay, no call.

She has had her face rearranged a few times, though, obviously.

Did I just reverse-jinx Maye?

Me and Trevor Noah, Psyduck buddies forever.

At first I thought it was going to be an ad for some GLP-1 thing, and then it turned out to somehow be even worse.

The defense still looks great. Maye is in full Debby Downer mode.

Agreed. Might as well have kept walking off the field into the locker room if they're not going to try.

Feel like at some point Gonzalez is going to jump a route for a big INT. Also feel like Maye is going to get sacked into last week the way he keeps losing big yards.

Next time I make it, I'm going to add more beans. I love a bean-y chili. EAT SHIT, TEXAS.

You got yourself a real nice chili recipe. I switched out the Frank's for a local company and added some chipotles in adobo sauce for funsies. Damn tasty.

Gotta get started on that HOF resume early!

Fokk yeah!

The Bud Bowls were all in those "NFC wins every year" time, so the commercial was the only game with an uncertain outcome for viewers.

And anyone in their right mind rooted for Budweiser over Bud Light.

Goddamnit Luis, I agree with you on both takes (except I'm thinking 20-17).

I wonder how many doctors he's made tearfully plead "For the love of god, just one green salad, PLEASE."

Most likely to win the MVP tonight? I know these days it almost always goes to the winning QB, but what are, say, JSN's chances?

"That guy? He sees ghosts on the field. I don't believe in that stuff--I only believe in science." *drinks more water to 'prevent sunburns'*