dr fart

i quit twitter it is genuinely negatively affecting my mental health

i’d like to say you’ve changed but you’re always the same i’ve got a feeling that the marijuana’s rotting your brain

have had such a terrible week at work but my boyfriend came to my house a day early and then swerved for a pigeon on our way to get groceries

i am terminally employed i need to become a waster again

where Are the hoes at 🤨‼️

i havent moved off the sofa all day i am eating airfryer onion rings and playing skyrim ‼️‼️

beautigul

i have a tattoo itch i really need to scratch. and a botox itch and a winning the lottery itch

what slurs can i say if i have asthma

Just got convicted of FRAUD. 100 years in Alcatraz. At least BLUE SKY gets me...!!

been eating cheese and cold cuts and drinking red wine and i’m sweatin the fucking bit out

napa valley

some sriracha too

cream cheese and chorizo on red onion and chive bread get the fuckkkkk out of my face

i’m gonna make the filthiest bagel when i get home i’ll tell you that for nothing

it’s that time again

That's me in the Examiner, mourning Irish Twitter:

www.irishexaminer.com/opinion/comm...

payday . bought a £3.50 frozen pizza as a treat 😎👍🏻

brb submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known

i have had to raise three issues to tech support for my compooper this morning why is nothing working ARGHHGGGGGGGGG

Ohh My Engagement is SHIT! My numbers are ZERO