dr fart

lost my credit card at the bar and retraced my steps and flipping found it on the ground in the smoking area #blessup

why r pub queues single file now lol

Sally Rooney books may be pulled from UK, court told Normal People author Sally Rooney's books may have to be withdrawn from sale and none of her new works published in the UK due to "uncertainty" caused by the ban on Palestine Action, the British High ...

The lengths the British government will go to please the Israeli government.

www.rte.ie/news/2025/11...

i love telling my boyfriend i’ve seen movies that i haven’t actually seen so he doesn’t put it on

please let me pay my gas bill with apple pay i haven’t seen my debit card in weeks

i need my elbow blasted what can u get on ur elbow apart for a cobweb

complaining about gaining weight then hoofing half a carrot cake into myself as soon as i get home from work

i’ll get as close as i can get without running right through you

i need to admit something. i’ve never watched normal people. i don’t think i have the strength to

ancestry tests will never appeal to me as a white irish person. why would i pay u money so u can tell me i’m white and irish

i’m going to MEXICO soon i’m going to MEXICOOOO i’m going to drink MARGARITAS in MEXICO

day off today i’m making a dirty greasy fry up at 1pm

everyone who works in a client facing role’s favourite time of year has just begun. keep em coming folks

subtle change, shorter days, dead eyed, dead weight

everyone except me die right now

i look like a teletubby i’m wearing so many layers

my sister was at a bar and her drink was £6.70 and the guy charging her goes to his coworker “six seven six seven” and doing the hand thing then he charged her £67 by accident

a customer i was dealing with in work showed me a document that said Milton Keynes on it and i assumed it was his name because im stupid and called him Milton throughout our entire interaction and he never corrected me

cheese and butter pasta tastes sooooo good when u don’t have a man in ur ear telling u to eat protein

belfast town becomes unbearable with christmas shoppers 0.2 seconds after halloween ends

mistake my kindness for weakness and find your card CANCELLED

i love that my sisters in her mid twenties now because she’s stopped making fun of me for being old lmao

my toxic trait is i will make someone move their bag on a busy bus or train and sit next to them even if other people have left the seat beside them free. i will not reward bad behaviour!!

My god… this sandwich… it’s made of pure lunch

udon in my pee jammers

i’m watching the liverpool game and farting loads in the pub. theres so many men around my boyfriend won’t know its me

i don’t use twitter anymore so i just found out dick cheney died there now

left chicken fillets in the fridge for a bit too long and suddenly jeffrey dahmers whole thing is making my head spin

he asks how much i’m drinking and i lie but doctors are always trying to tell you some torturous way to live your life, its not like they know everything ever. hey man, i went to college too!!!!

i bought new curlers today and unfortunately my hair has never looked better