We Are Not Dating

Carts: How does the grocery store expect me to live like this?

Coffee: My birthday gift to you is making you do chores.

Yes: I'm a "Yay before Nay" kind of person.

Please: Friendship isn't always glamorous.

Chauffeur: They've both been safe in the car...so far.

Still Not Dating: Not much's changed 10 years later.

Online Ordering: To be fair, they spent less time looking for it for in-store pickup than Allen did, professionals at work.

The Other Best Friend: I love you too buddy.

Hubris: The tale of Icarus is as old as time...

The Art Of Subtlety: What do you mean...ask you directly?

Sharing Is Caring: Money can't buy happiness, but plastic, metal, and ink are better than being happy.

Medicine: Somehow, I don't think that's a good long term solution.

The Date: I wonder how they're doing now.

Sharing: This entire time I could have been saving money by sharing food with friends?!

Forgotten: So...how about that weather?

Sudden: Why, hello there!

Voice Call: If technology makes my life better at your expense, then more power to me!

Dutch Oven: Should have splurged and bought the see-through pot.

Pretzels: Great food can be found anywhere.

Kitchen Appliances: Buy once, then let your roommate break it so they get you better one.

Crumbs: Vacuums, for cleaning your roommate.

Ice Cream: This is why Allen needs glasses.

Kick: Allen wins this round. For now.

Sugar: Allen, king of the sugars.

Cookies: The secret ingredients are love and reading the directions.

Waiting: I didn't think you'd come right away!

How Could I?: Allen needs to sit his nightmare self down and give him a stern talking to.

Nightmare: How could you quit without telling me 6 - 8 business weeks in advance?!

Tiramisu: Thank you for buying me a gift that you also get to indulge in.

Putting On A Face: Best friends: Looking good all day everyday.