kegel knievel

amazing

schweens is crazy but I love it 💗

#wagthatshitfriday

call me ritz the way I always got a cracker in my mouth

*tweet deleted*

how the day feels when you know you’re getting head later

breaking each individual cage for #locktober

Prometheus being a chatty bottom nothing has ever been more true

deeply like this angle

John Goodman in Raising Arizona

Sniffies in Burbank is active

posting my dick / mute you if you need

Pan’s Labyrinth

that’s why I have two phones

hate getting notifications about their 1:30pm on a Thursday screenings of the greatest movies ever made

watching the greatest story ever told by a Mexican man since I started tweeting in 2013

they’re calling dinner when I’m the wife they keep at home

anti working class sentiment

I see it so often I’m inclined to believe they don’t exist (mentally) beyond 2012 Facebook

grown as hell with a job and rent. I’m not calling it “my pp”, that’s my entire dick balls and ass

changed me

Drake at the front counter of the Marriott

got a breakfast burrito in the #airfryer, a finger in my #butt, and put on the rocky horror picture show in my #mexican living room #youremad

weekends are for being #mexican

20 mins

you did what

correct, the daycare is open for business

alright being a dad is over for the night. I need to throw neck now

we won btw

the dad running around the field yelling at their kid has clocked into work

days like this are when I miss being an academic the most