Dr Harold News

EXCLUSIVE: Sneak Peek at the Programme for Government

BREAKING: Clare Hotel Owner Announces Plan To Invade Greenland

The face you make when Simon Harris asks if preparing to play The Penguin involved spending time with real penguins.

Bono says the name 'Bono' is of Hebrew origin and means 'man who ignores injustice'.

An Apology.

Earlier today we caused some upset by claiming that Bono's US Presidential Medal of Freedom is for services to Israel and Tax Avoidance.

We apologise to those affected. There was of course no excuse for failing to mention that the medal is also for being a Tory.

Bono Awarded US Presidential Medal of Freedom for Services to Israel and Tax Avoidance

FOR SALE: One Brennans Sliced Bread Loaf. Willing to swap for a 3-bedroom-apartment in Dublin.

Bertie Ahern says his New Year’s resolution is to support the environment by encouraging people to send him money via Revolut instead of giving him brown envelopes.

Happy New Year to everyone from Cork!

Thank you for laughing along and supporting this page over the past year. Here’s to a more equal, caring, and peaceful world in 2025 ❤️

Bono says his New Year's resolution is to spend more time pretending to care about injustice.

Ford's entire car stock in Ireland will be sold out by this time tomorrow.

Eamon Ryan says if aliens visit Earth in 2025, he would not rule out the Green Party going into coalition with them.

Great news - Star Trek wasn't wrong! I've just rewatched the episode and found the full quote.

BREAKING: RTÉ News Wins Israeli News Station of the Year

"As a boy growing up in Finglas, I was beaten up every day by the local Orangemen, Your Majesty."

BREAKING: Newly surfaced photo of Queen Elizabeth with Kneecap threatens to cause uproar in Orange Order.

Live scenes on Grafton Street as people wait for Bono to arrive:

Bertie Ahern says when he was a child, instead of presents, Santa used leave brown envelopes under the Christmas tree.

Many people are wondering about the exact time Bono will start his Christmas Eve busking on Grafton Street.

While 8pm is the usual time, there’s a chance he could begin earlier, so the safest option to avoid upset is to leave Dublin City Centre by 6pm.

Dublin Airport confirms the queue outside Terminal 1 is actually for Dunnes Blanchardstown.

Live scenes as Zionists react to Irish people proudly adopting 'Paddystinian' as a badge of honour:

Father Fintan Stack

Irish people react to Israelis calling us Paddystinians:

Bono & Bob Geldof holding Israel flags

This fake Dr Harold News picture has spread worldwide, with Reuters among the many who’ve made contact.

For future reference, it’s easy to tell the photo isn’t real. Just examine the picture closely, and you’ll notice Robbie Keane is missing.

BREAKING: Israel Accuses Bosco Of Being Antisemitic

STATEMENT:

Sometimes in comedy you put a foot wrong. Earlier today we joked about Israel's embassy closing, which has upset many Israel supporters.

Upon careful reflection, we fully stand by our tweets and will continue calling out Israel until they stop killing Palestinians.

Bono Apologises To Netanyahu For Ireland's Actions Leading To Embassy Closure

LIVE PICTURES of Irish people gathering in Dublin to mourn Israel closing their embassy.

BREAKING: Alan Shatter has spontaneously combusted after hearing that Israel are closing their Irish embassy.

Irish People React To Israel Closing Dublin Embassy:

Simon Harris receives plenty of criticism, and while I don't support him personally, I think it's important to acknowledge and recognise the significant contribution he has made over the last month to damage Fine Gael.

For that, he deserves our thanks.