Ren H

Trash. This entire platform and the two ghouls, Cenk and Ana, driving it directly into the dirt. Nobody watches your BS anymore.

A lot of horrible 💩 has happened since I last posted, including my mother passing. Now we’re living in a full-fledged fascist country so… Here I am, Bluesky. Name’s Ren. What’s up?

Oh, Stephanie and Paul, what a new low… 🤢

In any event, I persist to exist… and just like Thanksgiving, my birthday will pass with little fanfare until the next year. I guess I can’t be too mad about that. [10/10]

And I was. And I am. But I cannot do it. The finality of mortality petrifies me. But the older I get, the closer Death comes… to me, to my family, to… everything from *my* youth. [9/?]

But it’s here. Technically. I am 38. Two years closer to 40 when younger me swore to self-delete on my 30th if I were still in the same place. [8/?]

The second anniversary of my brother’s death, the fifth of my niece’s, and… that other thing that still has my stomach turning somersaults of disgust. [7/?]

I hate my birthday. I think I always will. But at least the dread of it seems to be wearing off. Or it could be because other things weighed heavily enough on me this year to distract me… [6/?]

Won’t elaborate or pontificate on that, suffice it to say this next era is going to be dark and painful and I don’t want to have to deal with what’s coming but the alternative, alluring as it is, is also terrifying and too final. [5/?]

This November continued the theme of this month being cursed for me; except this time, the travesty happened on a much grander scale. [4/?]

No one is decorating or buying things specifically for Thanksgiving. It’s the ugly stepchild, forgotten between the favorites of Halloween and Christmas. [3/?]

Nobody really cares about Thanksgiving. Not really. Like, they celebrate it maybe… have dinner, invite family over, watch the parade and football. But nobody looks forward to Thanksgiving. [2/?]

There’s something cosmically hilarious about my least favorite day in my least favorite month falling on the least recognized holiday. [1/?]

Anybody else just… exhausted… with life? Just running on fumes and wondering if any of it is worth it? 🙃

a cartoon character from inside out is saying hi while stretching her arms . ALT: a cartoon character from inside out is saying hi while stretching her arms .

Hi!!!