Sean Weetabix

Boy, did I have egg on my face! It was a proud moment for me, being the winner of the egg eating contest and all.

Now he's done it 🙄

"One Battle After Another"? More like One Scene After Another

The movie is comprised entirely of them!

Cor Blimey, The Prince has been nicked by the bobbies! What in the blazes has that old scoundrel done this time...🙄😏🤷

Love the performances by the 3 older character actors in this, *especially* James Karen

"I'm Sir Ian McKellan and this is Jack Ass"

Yeah, more like you're BEING a jack@$$, Ian 🙄

And just like that: late career pivot to being a dare devil. Expect many more scrapes, bruises and broken bones pulling stunts like this. And for what? To be the next Evel Knievel? Enough with the horseplay, Ian 😡

Having hard time coming up with Valentimes? I'm looking at the guys out there🤣 you old sluggers, you dogs. You know what I'm talking about 😜 he's a hint: think heart shape. Better yet: think heart shape with arrow through it. Think cupid

There's only so much activity one can manage to do, being trapped inside of a coffin. So if I'm dead and rolling in my grave please keep in mind: that's not me disapproving, that's me trying desperately to have fun

Pretty wild that Vincent Gallo's polarizing The Brown Bunny is still causing such a stir

I've been getting excited by these headlines for like 15 years. But when you've had as many root canals as I have, what can you do but cling to hope

Melania/Melancholia Double Feature

Even a disgusting, evil clock is right twice a day

First off, I'll ask that you not to refer to my guy friends as "jerks"
Secondly, we were gathered in a *square* shaped formation

The crowd held their breath as the big, burly biker--covered in tattoos--approached the little kid who was being bullied. The biker pulled something out of his pocket.......it was a gun! He pistol whipped the poor kid 😨 Sadly, this is consistent with the behavior of a dangerous, low life biker

To the owner of the claw machine "establishment" you may have scored points with the gross out humor crowd. But frankly? To the rest of us your score is zero 😒 Change them back to their regular product names 😠

I'm relieved when things are rather orthodox as opposed to the alternative

It's great! 👍

Sense AND Sensibility, in this economy?
(Are we still doing “in this economy” jokes?)

Sometimes imposter syndrome kicks in and I get stage fright on orgy night at my sex cult. But I have a life hack where I just look around and imagine everybody with clothes on

"Hey, I'm advocatin' here!"

Everybody talks about the Epstein files, assuming they're documents, pictures, etc. But actually they are *mostly* MIDI files. I'm seeing a lot of .OTF extensions as well. Not sure what to tell ya 🤷

Motion to amend with: She made me grow 3 sizes right in my jeans?

To protect my client, Mr. Orbison, from liability--I have taken it upon myself to update the terms of the song

🎵 Next Christmas, I gave you my time travel machine
The very prior day, you gave it away🎵

I don't usually get political on here but someone had to say it. And I refuse to back down on this one. Sorry!

Uncultured. Bad mannered. And can someone say uncouth? You, Sir, are a brute! Good day, Sir, Mr. Trump, Sir

Why are you mistreating that poor girl

My documentary "Zoot-Opia 2" is being review bombed by angry children and parents who felt deceived by the title. Those of you in the Hepcat/Pachuco community: now is the time to step up. I need your help!