[user unfound]

🍦さんと🎭さん
2枚目はギラギラ原画

Aquilegia, specifically the Magpie cultivar of columbine...but you also make me think of tall, strong cedars :]

if I make it to 27 I think I might genuinely live forever. happy fuckin’ birthday to me, and here’s to another year. may it be gentle to me, may it be majorly uneventful, may it be, above all, kind and gentle. I’m gonna go get drunk again.

the year is 2024, and now that I’m once more something approaching properly sober...mom’s baby turned 312 months this year, or 9497 days. the cake was messy at hell and not at all what I’d ordered—but upon due reflection, that was just the perfect summation of this here year.

working on another little rat girlie…next stage is maybe some accessories :))

A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #956,161, [user unfound] ‪@aemperatrix.bsky.social‬, joined on Sep 11, 2023"

user #956,161...
and help, I joined on 9/11. angjkghjgfh I didn’t remember this

to next year’s Lia—300 month old baby, scaredy-cat, sweet crybaby—it’s for you and mom I’m trying, mostly. live, honey. live, you get me?

(& you and I already have an idea for how to represent 26 as a number, but perhaps we should workshop it a little, in the interest of further baffling bakers...)

why I’ve used the third person throughout, I’ve no idea. perhaps a compulsion that comes with Telling a Story, even a true one. I’ve had a rum n coke and I intend to have another, even though my lip stings like an absolute motherfucker.

to next year’s Lia: I hope your year was excellent and happy.

A photo of a cake glazed with chocolate and topped with various fondant decorations. Five birthday candles are arranged in an arc around the top edge in the sequence 9 1 5 7 3. The candles are lit. 4/16 is written in white chocolate at the center of the ring. A decorative plaque made from white fondant has been attached to the broad side of the cake. Black text spells out a simple Happy Birthday, Liana! message in Romanian.

owing to a much-too-convoluted-to-explain-and-still-be-funny Incident, the user routinely refers to a quarter of anything as “four-sixteenths.” the joke is frankly too stupid and too charming to pass up, so 4/16 becomes the centerpiece of the cake.

(the bakers were baffled, but did wonderfully.)

the user decides to rehash last year’s idea and represent her new age as a simple sum: felicitously, 25 happens to be the added total of the single-digit odd natural numbers, 1 3 5 7 9.

but 25 is also exactly a quarter of a century, which cannot possibly be allowed to pass without notice...

the user turns 25, which is to say she is now her mother’s 300 month old baby. (the user is trying to say she loves her mom. she is failing, badly.)

for this year’s candles, the user tried to Frankenstein together a 5 squared—alas, no small candles were available.

the year is 2023: the user still needs that fucking million in pounds sterling. instead the user gets a dental abscess in full swell on the 23rd of December, fitting summation of her year.

Photo of a small cake. The broad, circular side of it is richly decorated with whipped cream piping. The cake is topped with various slices of fruit comfit, alternating kiwi and clementine, as well as cranberries. The six number 4 candles have been placed in a circle around the cake. A plaque made from thin white fondant has been attached to the front of the cake’s broad side, the lettering spelling out Happy Birthday, Liana! in Romanian.

A second photo of the same cake, taken at a different angle. In this one the candles are lit. One of the candles has tipped on its flat side and is lying among the fruit comfit.

the year is 2022. the user badly needs a foot-rub, a variety of pharmaceuticals which cannot be acquired even with prescription, or, at the very least, a million pounds sterling.

the user turns 24 and represents this on her cake with six number 4 candles, one of which seems to get drunk before her.

Photo of a cake glazed with burnt sugar and topped on the viewer’s left-hand side with a variety of biscuits. Three lit candles have been placed into it. Part of the lettering underneath is visible, the given name Liana.

A photo of the same cake, taken at a slightly different angle. Here we can see that the three candles were not placed all in a row but rather on two separate lines, so that the 1 and 5 make up the number 15.

the year is 2021. the user decides to get a little weird with it. the user attempts to find a birthday candle shaped like the plus sign, and is unable to. the user is Very Sad. the user turns 1 5 8, 158, or perhaps 15+8 as intended, which is to say, 23.

A photo of a cake. The wide, circular side of the cake is decorated all around with thick whipped cream piping; the top of the cake is decorated with slices of orange comfit. Birthday candles are arranged haphazardly, roughly spelling out the number 20202.

the year is 2020. (will it ever stop feeling like the year is 2020.) two make a pair and three make company—but three can also make a tradition. in homage to the initial mistake which started this whole thing, in honour of trinities, the user buys two 0-shaped candles and three 2-shaped ones.

The photo is a close-up of a cake. Four birthday candles, a 2, a 1, and two consecutive 0 are arranged in a somewhat crooked line, reading out as the number 2100. The candles are lit. Part of the lettering done on the icing of the cake is visible: the word ani, meaning years in Romanian, and the female given name Liana.

the year is 2019. the user enjoyed last year’s birthday cake so much she decides to repeat the ‘glitch’—this time thoughtfully and on purpose. she purchase candles to represent the expected number, 21...and two zeroes.

Close-up picture of a birthday cake. Three birthday candles, a number 2 and two consecutive number 0s, have been placed into the cake, reading as the number 200. The cake is completely covered in chocolate glaze. Parts of the lettering underneath are visible: the words ‘ani’, meaning ‘years’ in Romanian, and the personal name Liana.

the year is 2018. the user is nocturnal. the user’s mother just got off a night shift. neither notice they’ve grabbed an extra birthday candle until both get home, at which point the user giggles, and says oh, hell, might as well, I can’t wait until 30 to use this, now can I.

it is 4:35 PM and I am a good few hours into being mom’s 300 month old baby, so. time to be self-indulgent with the practice of Screaming Into A Blue Void

little thread chronicling the strange little birthday tradition I acquired the year I turned 20: 🧵

pirate!kisame my beloved

to read again n again n again whenever I get hopeless and unwell

anyway in light of this I’m gonna go watch Doom Patrol or fucking. something

whenever I experience happiness or joy or even plain contentment I end up also being profoundly, indescribably sad. there is this pervasive sense of guilt, of feeling like I don’t deserve this, haven’t earned it.

it’s so exhausting, living braced for a strike. I wish I could rewire myself I rlly do

Black and white sketch of Morticia Addams. Her hair covers one of her eyes and her arms are crossed. Her full-length dress extends in tendril-like segments around her.

[fanart, the addams family]

figured morticia was a good choice for repostober, even if i can't find the actual file with good resolution anymore. i think this was my most popular piece?

if an app is blue you cannot trust it. And Yet Here I Am Again </3