Running Shmunning

I’m five minutes into one of my 3-mile walks. I just realized I’m not wearing my Apple Watch. So am I really walking at all?

Good news: I believe I avoided pictures! At least, I avoided being personally identified in any pictures, and that’s close enough.

Did it. Slowly, but did it. #5k #running

Wearing a t-shirt that says “no pictures” feels like I’d be inviting more pictures.

I’ve tried pleading looks in past years. No luck.

As I prepare to “run” a 5k this weekend, I need to find a way to politely indicate to race photographers that I reeeeeeeeeally don’t want my picture taken and put on their site. #running #c25k

I’m barely prepared to walk a 5k next week, never mind run it.

Dying so bad I can’t spell, apparently. Couldn’t wait to get home and cool off before telling people how out of shape I am.

A stop sign. Caption: I think I might be dying. 1.9 mil, 291 cal, 20:00 min

W3D3 of #c25k is trying to kill me. #running

And if I *am* doing 16-minute miles, does that include the 5-minute warm-up and cool-down? Because that feels unfair. And not indicative of my running capability.

I honestly don’t understand how those stats work. I wasn’t doing 9-minute miles. Oh, wait, was I doing 16-minute miles? Well *that* could be clearer…

Mazzy the mastiff in front of white flowers. Caption: two weeks ‘til my 5k. I’m screwed. 1.6 mil, 241 cal, 16:00

Finished #running W3D2 of #C25K. I’m now caught up to when I dropped off 2-3 months ago.

Hooray, I guess.

Mazzy the Mastiff, a large black and white dog, sitting in front of a bush of white flowers. I don’t know what kind of flowers, or if it’s technically a bush at all, but it’s bush-like. 1.6 mil, 239 cal, 16:00 min

Someone had to take a potty break just as the #C25K lady told me to start #running. It wasn’t me. #W3D1

Mazzy the mastiff, mid-trot, looking at the camera. Stats: 1.8 Miles, 272 Cal, 21:00 min

W2D3 of #C25k is done. It wouldn’t have been so bad if my #running buddy had been more cooperative.

Mazzy the mastiff in front of a bunch of tulips. 1.7 miles, 252 cals, 18 mins.

#W2D2 of #C25k is complete. Every day I get a little slower. #running?

Mazzy the Mastiff, a black and white dog looking directly into the camera post-run. Caption on pic reads “if my time is unimpressive, blame her.” Stats: 1.7 miles, 260 cals, 18:00 min.

Putting Mazzy back on #C25k. It did not go great. #running #w2d1

Why must all the #running lessons I learn be food-based?

My kingdom for exercise pants that will stay up when I run.

A distant butte on a grey day.

My life imploded and it wouldn’t stop raining, so I stopped #running. Now I’m back where I started, with a 5k only a month away. This won’t go well. #c25k #blugh

My dog Mazzy, looking sad (because she has that kind of face). My stats: 1.6 mil, 233 cal, 16 min.

I repeated W3D2 since nothing got logged on my treadmill run last time. Plus, I didn’t want to run at all today. But I did. Kind of. #running #c25k #w3d2

I wish the app offered a map that didn’t show street names and local shops. Seems kind of problematic

A thick blob of red and green Squiggles that suggest I was across and around the perimeter of my gym instead of running in one spot

I mean, what must the elves running the app think I’m doing?

A picture of my shirt, which is a uterus flipping two birds. Over it, my W3D2 C25K stats: .3 Mil, 41 cal, 16 min.

Today I learned my C25K app does not register the treadmill very well. On the plus side, I have an excuse to repeat W3D2 without having to admit anything to myself. #running #c25k

Mazzy the Mastiff, post-run, beneath my stats: 1.7 mil, 278 cal, 16:00 min.

“You’re doing so good, baby” I whisper breathlessly to my dog, who is being surprisingly cooperative. But secretly, I’m talking to myself. #running #c25k

There are a lot of injustices in the world and one of them is that I quit drinking maybe 3 years ago and I never lost a single pound because of it.

“Thanks, I hate it” and my running stats: 1.9 miles, 295 cal, 21:00 min all posted over a picture of my dog, Mazzy the Mastiff, not looking like she ran the same amount I did. Or, maybe looking as cool and calm as I would if I were in her youthful shape. But I am old and this is hard.

I did the thing. My calves hurt, my knees hurt, and my pants won’t stay on my weird body, but I did it. #running #runningwhilefat

My dog, a black and white mastiffy-dog, resting her snoot on a blanket in my lap. She is very content.

I couldn’t bear the idea of #running for the last few days. So we did hella walking instead.

Maybe tomorrow…

A close-up photo of my dog Mazzy, underneath today’s running stats: 1.7 miles, 266 cals 18:00 minutes

I thought running on softer terrain would hurt less, but it didn’t. #running #C25K #W2D2

A photo of Mazzy the Mastiff, who has a face that often looks tired, but today in particular embodies how I’m feeling. I posed on top are my C25k stats: 1.7 miles, 18:09 minutes.

W2D1 complete.

#SlowAndUnsteady #running #c25k

Oh, it was just me listening to Christopher McDougall’s “Born to Run” for the fifth time.