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scribbles

Everything really is a joke, just existing and "being" is a joke and it's not a funny one either. I need someone to kill me in my sleep just to spare me from having to live another day feeling like this

And ever since "that" incident, I've been slowly falling out of love of something and honestly I don't think I can get into human beings in general anymore and really am just at odds with myself. I want to love it, but I also don't have the strength/drive to devote myself into something anymore

I barely have life now due to work. I'm failing as an artist and more people are unfollowing my twitter because I barely managed to make art and is on a mental illness run thoughout the whole year that my mutuals probably don't even see me as an art-related acc anymore because I only vent about work

I'm speaking gibberish, solely because I'm depressed and I actually don't feel anything (positive) atm. But rn I just kinda dgaf about anything and just wish my existence would at least disappear for a while from people's memories... I just want to give up, man

I can barely even remember what got me so passionate last year, honestly I'm surprised it even happened because the current me can't recall anything and at this point I barely get that excited about stuff solely because my senses have dulled considerably this year

no taiga drama to be invested in etc, there really is nothing interesting at all... I'm probably gonna enter the new year stuck in perpetual weekly hollow depression hell, since the only thing going on is work and even that's uncertain lol

There's literally nothing to look forward to these days... sighs...

Damn, I really need a distraction because I'm just really not into anything atm...

🥹

Decided to draw all stages of young Suzuhime. -Then nameless 4 year old Suzu who managed to run away from her father and was found in the woods. -Suzu after being adopted and raised into an orphanage where other abandoned children stayed - After an attack by local samurais, the orphanage and its residents were lost... except for a certain girl who couldn't die (is almost immortal due to her father's experimens) -Got caught by her father and the local feudal lord, groomed and forced to be a "noblewoman" to be sent to the capital for their nefarious schemes. Proficient in combat and onmyou arts

A vile onmyoji's failed experiment #TehaOC

Something that should not have existed #TehaOC

su/zu body ref

Staying alive is tough......

Timelapse. It's been 3 years since the last episode 🥺 This might also be my last Heike Monogatari illustration for the year. To think that I've been drawing fanarts for a whole 3 years already... (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

Recollection #平家物語 #HeikeMonogatari

Tfw you're injured and stuck in enemy territory but your captor just happens to be just some guy who had experienced the death of a loved one and can't bear to see you like this because it reminds him of his poor sickly wife, kinda... yeah...

early post-DNU Suzu/Nari sketches

old scribbles

A lil commission for my art friend @teha.bsky.social ! >:D
Chibis of Shigemori and Biwa from the Heike Monogatari anime sittin n chillin at night yep2

The anime is a visually and auditory stunning experience! If you like artsy stuff and Japanese history, then go watch it! >:)

?? #TehaOC

Peaceful slumber #TehaOC

He was originally just meant to be some normal guy you can find around at Kamakura (with an average build and a normal height) but after a friend said "what if he's a large man? 👁️👁️" I thought that would add to his scary/intimidation factor and that's how he end up being as beeg as he is today 🥹

Prototype Yoshinari vs latest Yoshinari... the more I drew him, the bigger his scar became 😂💀

old scribbles