Dan Cabral

My favorite NY Jets stat:
There are 4 teams in the AFC East. Where do the Jets rank in AFC East division titles?
A: 5th
The Baltimore Colts were in the AFC East before moving to Indianapolis, and have more AFC East titles than the Jets, so the Jets rank 5th all-time in a division of 4 teams.

The reason MAGA are upset about Bad Bunny isn't because he's Puerto Rican, or because his songs are in Spanish.

They're upset that something exists in this world that isn't catering specifically to them. They are not the target audience for his performance, and BOY does that piss them off.

Idiocracy was unrealistic only because we got dumber quicker than the movie anticipated

Let's be honest... If "thoughts and prayers" actually worked, Trump would've choked on a Big Mac long before he was ever elected President.

Which Horsemen of the Apocalypse brings rational thought from Ted Cruz?

Because this makes perfect sense to me, and I'm pretty sure that's a sign of the end-times.

If the MAGA movement has taught me anything, it was the valuable lesson that the "wisdom of the elders" has been one of the most grossly exaggerated myths of history.

The old hypothetical about a time traveler going back in time to kill Hitler in order to prevent the Holocaust...

What if that's exactly what we witnessed?

Just saying...

Both sides!

I keep being told by RW media that I should be outraged about Sydney Sweeney and her ad.
Meanwhile, I'm just over here thinking she looks like if the world's most unenthusiastic handjob became a sentient being.

Large section of voters sitting at home on elections is the reason why we are in this mess.

A man went into Starbucks and said "I'd like your mildest roast, please."

The barista replied, "You have really average ears."

I'll take it a step further... Not only will (and should) Democrats not think of allying with Elon Musk, VOTERS will reject anyDemocrats who ally with Elon Musk. Because we recognize that people who lie down with Nazis wake up Nazis. It's really that simple.

The only thing losing value faster than the stock market is a business degree from Wharton.

The only thing losing value faster than the stock market is a business degree from Wharton.

The perfect image reply doesn't exi...

As an American, I yearn for the days when we can have this kind of leadership again.

I would dare you to write something scarier than what we're dealing with in our government right now, but I fear that would just prompt Trump to up the ante.

JFC... I went on my monthly Costco/BJ's shopping trip, and felt like I was prepper shopping for an economic apocalypse, and every time I thought I might be overdoing it, I got breaking news alerts that made it seem like it's going to be so much worse than when I started.

I started AN HOUR AGO!!!

Most of the criticism I'm hearing about the halftime show is from people who are largely upset that it wasn't catering to them.
They were never the target audience, and that's the part that upsets them the most.

Analysis | Trump launched air controller diversity program that he now decries At a news conference, Trump read a list of conditions he called disqualifying, but his administration started such hiring in 2019.

Because of course: www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...

I kept this screenshot assuming someday we might be asked to forget.

Bull milk has a more nutty flavor with piquant. almost pineapple-like notes.

It's absolutely shocking that their muddled messaging and unclear objectives caused people to not take them seriously.

Shocking, I tell you!

Live your life in a way that people don't go online and instinctively speculate the business decisions you chose that may have facilitated your murder.

There... now I'm your life coach!

Every complaint about people abandoning Twitter is essentially “but my mom says you have to play with me!”

Maybe, if his own mother recognizes that he's acting like a piece of shit, take her word for it and... hear me out on this... don't die on the hill of carrying his water.

Got the ol' quinquagenarian shish kebab today.

(Colonoscopy and Endoscopy, for those not in the know)

It's not a bug... it's a feature.