the real tokutomi roka

its a beautiful day...yay...

maybe I should post about something else for once lol

ill be like "i don't think hrt has changed me all that much" then ill look at any picture of pre-hrt me from the past 5 years and ill see how she had No life in her eyes and never had a real smile in any picture and remember the quiet yearning that went through her brain 24/7/365

born to be weird and silly and disappear into the woods for days at a time, forced to apply for jobs

thinking about how i was at the bar a couple nights ago. someone introduced me to a friend with "this is [roka], she's a girl" and the friend just said "well yeah, i can see that"

so i think I did something right that day

do u ever feel like ur life is a mario 64 speedrun where the stars aligned and like 17 different cosmic rays flipped 17 different bits and somehow put you exactly where you need to be in life

eras come to an end and that's sad. i'm sad. why can't i hold forever what used to be

ok well yeah wiimmfi exists but its just not the same ok?!

being near her isn't enough i need to noclip gmod-style into her

buying a modern laptop with an efficient cpu <<< distro/DE hopping repeatedly trying to minmax battery life on my dell latitude from 2014

i'm cosplaying a boy today

i do not :( i only have a few saved so far but i'll take any suggestions of anything still available

building a 10tb nas with offsite backups so i can archive more ytps

i lied i don't have netflix (opens 11 year old laptop, battery dies, switches it out for one from my backpack, opens plex, swears at it for 5 minutes, sftp's the video file from my server to my laptop, restarts laptop again to switch OS, opens vlc, starts watching movie at 480i 15fps)

but if i do that ill lose my mysterious troubled sadboy swag :(

they're letting me write a final paper about Drive (2011) this semester

got called "she" by a stranger today somehow??? said something, someone looks at me, looks away, says "oh i thought she was talking to me" and like, whatttt????? how did you KNOW?

i needed to hear this so bad thank you

(dissolving pill under my tongue) buh wha if im noh actuahy a girlh

had the noodle dream last night

... i need estrogen

do you ever get a burger

frolicking in some grassy area would fix me rn i think

fake grass is such a bummer

duck season

am I still allowed to call them christmas gifts if I haven't seen the people since before 12/25?

FOSSE works but OnQ, at least the versions they're using today, is a buggy mess.

At least it's not as bad as its replacement, PEP, which is a webapp that claims that having to wipe cookies and cache every 2-4 hours or else it'll break is a feature, not a bug

nixos is cool unfortunately i am very stupid. how do i learn how flakes work i read the nixos wiki page and it just hurt my brain really bad

bill nye’s full name is william new years eve

why do they call it the maillard reaction if there aren't even any ducks involved :(

this is me btw if u even care