Dan ChickHolla

cumtown gets a lot of flak it’s name, but that podcast should come smeared in shit to keep away people turned off by that sorta thing

I really wish they’d come up with a better name for my all-time favorite show to save me the constant embarrassment of recommending “peep show”

everyone needs to stop deadnaming “shane gillis,” they go by cheyenne giles now

I know this is an anti-GMax post, which fair enough, but are inmates supposed to have LIMITED toilet paper?

a lot of people are saying it’s like 1929 right now but that’s not true, back then we actually broke up standard oil

we should really read more into the fact that all corporate jargon for urgent issues are analogies to scenarios where you face certain death and all you can do is stave it off as long as you can like the plot of 300

keep in mind that fact checking this post makes you a pedophile sympathizer

you don’t hear about any black people on the epstein list, there were no white people on the p diddy list, sex traffickers are doing segregation in 2025 smh

“I’m not posting proof that someone faked a victimization campaign because of my own, hypothetical victimization campaign.”

I don’t know who’s lying, and I don’t care

I don’t know what “escrow” means, but I feel compelled to use it in this context

hell, we should put him in jail just in case

how did johnny knoxville catch up to john waters in age?

if I look annoyed when you show up late for a zoom meeting, don’t worry I’m not mad you’re late I just let myself get my hopes up you wouldn’t show up at all

you know the guy who came up with ASAP was unbearable to be around

a little about myself, I go back and edit out typos from messages my friends already read in case it ends up getting screengrabbed and posted somewhere

liz cheney is still a neo-con, I wanna see a mean tweet from trump turn someone full anarcho-syndacalist or some shit, they go from jewish space lasers to arguing about kropotkin

just once I wanna see someone do a reverse musk/candace owens and lurch to the left just cause they felt spurned by the other side, cmon marjorie taylor greene, we stan a wacky queen 👸

@nobelprize.org thought you’d wanna see this

alfonso cuaron: it’s a cautionary tale about the dangers of having a threesome with your bestie

james lipton: so what would you say is at stake when exploring such a theme

alfonso cuaron [looking directly at the camera ominously]: the world

so did the rift between trump and the clintons start with a threesome gone wrong like some clumsy “y tu mama tambien” fanfic?

12 years and three election campaigns later it’s still up, a lesser man would have deleted it by now

your most daring act of satire yet: sincerity

on the one hand I’d hate for trump’s speechwriting team to catch onto this, on the other hand I think it takes slightly too much discipline and attention span to pull off and he’d botch it in very funny ways

try to find 3 questions it doesn’t work for, you can’t

my humble jury: did my client murder his wife? sure. is there ample evidence to convict him? 100%. does that mean you should? not necessarily

asking and answering 3 related questions and giving a contradictory answer to the third one is a completely bulletproof rhetorical device

does it make sense? no. should you take my word for it? of course not. are you convinced anyway? absolutely

well I guess he did JUST say part 1 is 80 mins, so…

is it a 90 minute video thoroughly debunking a generationally enduring misinformation campaign on a hotbed issue or is it a 4 hour video arguing a 2 star video game is actually a 3 star video game?

having trouble showing up on the timeline?

through the magic of ai, you can now have bluesky automatically add a sentence at the end of your posts that throws a vulnerable minority under the bus to improve engagement metrics

by the way, trans people don’t exist 🤖 ✨

you used to be able to say things like “I think antonio brown’s gonna get pardoned” and people would be like “lol, dan you’re crazy”, now you say some shit like that and people say “duuuh” and flick the propeller on your beanie

so now that MTG and lauren boebert have shown they’re genuinely principled and not just doing whatever appeals to their base, I guess they really meant it about the jewish space lasers