HawkeyeRob

If there’s one thing I learned from The Twilight Zone, it’s not to mess around with inanimate objects that gain the power of speech.

Nightmare at 20,000 Feet is currently showing on the SyFy Twilight Zone marathon, so it’s a good night here at my house. #TheresAManOnTheWing

If you can’t laugh at yourself, you have no business laughing at anyone else. —AJ Croce

This ump loves inside pitches.

Between the Shohei homer and my lost Internet connection, this game is off to a bad start.

A little Balvenie to celebrate the Reds making the playoffs.

a blue and white fish mascot wearing a miami jersey ALT: a blue and white fish mascot wearing a miami jersey

Go Marlins!

Can’t watch the Reds because Brewers games are weirdly blacked out in central Iowa, so I’m watching the Mets (go Marlins!) while following the Reds game day feed on the MLB app.

Tyler Stephenson! #Reds

It was a noble attempt.

Maybe if you take off your pants and skip watching the bottom of the 9th, we can come back and win this thing.

Starting Severance this evening. It’s my understanding that there’s zero possibility this will cause any existential crisis whatsoever.

Tush push!

Moulton has been a beast tonight.

Touchdown Iowa!

Doink!

I’m just not ready to live in a world where Rutgers is good at football and Iowa is bad at defense.

Time to run the kickoff return touchdown play again.

Opening kickoff touchdown Iowa!

More like WetJET, amirite?

Love that the halftime show is available as a FB live.

The first quarter was more fun.

The defense seems to have taken that short field touchdown personally.

Currently on pace to win 80-0. Go Hawks!

Anderson x 2!

Touchdown Iowa!

We don’t need thoughts. We don’t need prayers. We need firearms to be well-regulated.