Mr Shirt

These dogs have a better wardrobe than I do.

What he said Part 3: 💯 🎯

Pero son totalmente honestos?

You need to schedule a fill.

If Clinton was still President the BJ’s would’ve won

I remember in 1997 i was a cashier at Target and a confident, Joe Dirt looking man came through the lane by himself with only a 6 pack of Mountain Dew and 3 thongs.

“Captain Jack” is my favorite song about staying home to masturbate and pick your nose.

It’s an innate Scorpio sense Scorpios have for one another.

I knew you had to be a Scorpio.

Did I dream a killer is in my house or is there really a killer in my house?

Best 3 minutes you will spend on the internet today.

Suburban Mom Wows Family With Most Androgynous Look Yet https://theonion.com/suburban-mom-wows-family-with-most-androgynous-look-yet-1819575789/

Why not Mieckull? English is stupid.

Pronounced Mysheel.

How dare you stray off topic to add to the social media discourse! Amanda does not allow that shit.

We need turquoise jewelry to make a come back. That's how you knew who to hit on

Sometimes words fall short, but music never does. It carries emotions you can't explain, memories you can't erase, and feelings you find hard to express. When your heart speaks in melodies - Listen 🎶

if knowingly starving millions of americans while he builds a gilded ballroom isn't cause for revolution then i'm not sure what is

It just doesn’t matter.

My mom has never once washed her own hair as an adult.

The way this cat tuck it's ear to avoid the table edge.

Trying to figure out how to build a teleporter so everyone here can just have all the sex, because it's clearly needed

I first read this as “being petty” and I was all in.

She’s a national treasure.

Reverse cowgirl, so I can maintain plausible deniability

California Dreaming - José Feliciano

i really resent the continued assertion that there’s so much anger on both sides, as if the causes of the anger are equally legitimate. we’re angry because masked maniacs are violently snatching our family and neighbors off the street, and they’re angry because we’re calling them out for it.

I think I’m experiencing estrus but for a cheeseburger.

We are fortunate: we are alive; we are powerful; the welfare of our civilization and our species is in our hands. If we do not speak for Earth, who will? If we are not committed to our own survival, who will be?