Mr Shirt

You missed the F.

I’m positive it’s more of the sister secret language thing.

You definitely made up that name.

Get a lot.

I think if I'd gotten away with attempting a coup, suffered no consequences for it, then won an election four years later, got away with executing citizens in the streets and foreigners in boats, and successfully abducted a head of state, I too might think I could just bomb my way to regime change

Bacon philosopher should be a paid profession.

Actress Karen Grassel

wait Ma Ingalls was a fucking hottie

32 years old at the beginning. If you’d asked me then I’d have said she was 65.

Read an article about how it’s better for your bhole to wipe standing up and I can’t for the life of me figure how to do it otherwise.

Thank your lucky stars you don’t have one ball at your knee and one in your waistband.

Can’t. Watching a YouTube video about how to measure girth.

Why are you up before 5 am on a Saturday?

My naps are getting longer and longer. Like my pubes.

a lot of you are probably too young to remember this but there was a time when the married dhs secretary using taxpayer money for a custom built fuck palace in the sky for her to bang coworkers wouldve been a big deal

It’s the worst part of every day 😣

It’s the bane of my existence.

Junderwear. Brilliant.

I don’t know if this is a “creative person” thing or something on the chromosome from our depression era grandparents… but for *ONCE* in my life it would be nice to come across a sock with a hole in it, and just throw it away, instead of obsessing over all the ways it could be used.

The boys busted through the knot.

a woman covering her ears with a napkin and the words " make it stop my ears " below her ALT: a woman covering her ears with a napkin and the words " make it stop my ears " below her

New pet peeve unlocked-

saying libaries instead of libraries.

Don’t forget “expresso”

I like to level her pigtails.

Still obsessing about that time 6 1/2 years ago when I apologized to a man when I rightly should’ve told him to fuck off.

Did you moo at them?

Or black people or Hispanic people or people with half a brain.

Looks like it was a good time.

That looks just like San Francisco.

But not as fun

I’ve been trying to compartmentalize for 35 years and I still can’t get the hang of it. A box might be the key.