Audrey Farnsworth

Why is this Coke Zero not fixing me emotionally? Did they change the recipe? Nevermind I’m going to email them

Government: we need proof you don’t have money
me: ok
government: show us a paystub
me: but

🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️

I’m going to be honest with you, sometimes I don’t know what to do when I am not inside my own home. If I’m somewhere else, man, well there is a chance I might be Fucking Weird. forgive me

Trump administration tries to deprive poor Minnesotans of health care because brave Minnesotans stood up to them.

you’re invited horse card

going to start sending these out to people without any context. nothing inside, no return address

Chris Pratt the store over soap

What even do you do when you happen upon this screenshot in your phone from 2019

it did! and jar jar’s torso

yes Taco Bell also tastes like Star Wars and so does kfc and Pizza Hut as well

exactly yeah

Pepsi tastes like Star Wars and I will not elaborate further

😊

To randomly hear organ music in the distance is to dance at midnight with satan himself

hahaha

That thing kids push around

the back of my resume is a 8x10 photo of my theater degree from ASU (pictured here)

I guess I have something to say about attack of the clones. I am actually being very vulnerable

when pennywise opens his mouth to show his big light it’s like dude are you comfortable

Ohhhhhh

I do not Ever know what I am looking at anymore. Online or otherwise

(Ad 18 of 11) we created an ai mouth that you can attach to your real mouth

(Ad 6 of 27) finally, an ai freeway for your car

(Ad 5 of 67) have you ever wanted to not have a job

I have seen two Star Wars prequels inspired personalized license plates in three days which leads me to believe an alien invasion is about to happen

Seeing a puppy is literally a miracle

person: how are you

me: searching “hot dog” on eBay to see what’s real is helpful for my wellbeing, I’ve realized lately. And by the way thank you so much for asking me that question man

I deserve to see 40 mascots sprinting in a line to an unknown location and some of them are two guys operating the front and back half of one costume. That’s what I deserve to see, for my troubles

hey dude I can’t hang out after all because I have to drive to the hot dog restaurant again for the second time this week. I am so sorry

each night I take my brain out of its box (my head) and place it in a jar and give the jar a kiss and say “help” and that’s how I go to sleep. I’m not joking that’s what I do. I don’t like it

the mummy 4 being in development is the only good thing I can think of in regards to our current timeline

Everything really is so remarkably Fucking stupid isn’t it (as I say this I am looking you straight in the eyes like you are my brother and everything around us moving in slow motion)