Witty Volkova

They truly say "two weeks" about everything.

I appreciate that

Should I become a minister so I can legally perform weddings, yes or yes?

Apparently ICE agents keep shooting themselves in the leg because they're idiots on top of ICE agent training being so minimal. These are the only numbers I want to see go up for these guys, keep at it

Archie the black and white poodle is also purple

Making archie fun colors is the best because it makes people on the street (especially kids) so happy

A blue zine mockup for a game called Chord, the cover shows a morose face surrounded by piano keys and small creatures hopping around them.

CHORD is coming March 24, two player miniature capture the flag skirmish game played on a piano keyboard that generates ambient music while you play.
My first skirmish game release!
Pay what you want on itch and a few scrappy diy zines in my bag at adepticon.

I will look into my crystal ball and find out ✨🧙‍♀️✨ what’s he up to??!

This is a photo of witty laying on her dog!

I’m live on Twitch.tv/wittlegoblin if you wanna come hobby along with me 😌

you can do it!!

Pssst, that pile of dishes in your sink won't take you as long to do as you think they will (and if you do them before bed, it's like a gift for tomorrow you).

nooooooooooooooooo

Found a pic of myself shredded/with a six pack and got kind of sad for a second but then remembered I can just do that again so I guess I'm gonna do that (but more reasonably, I used to work out 6x a week for like 2 hours and that was too much)

yeah it's the sound, ahhhhh. they'll take a big bite and then start a sentence and it hurts me

it's a lot 😵

not the same but when I initial WV it just looks like a little scribble

i know people do it to seem relatable and chill but if your video of yourself talking also includes you eating, i just can't watch it and i know i can't be the only one (yuck yuck yuck)

Debunked. Alexis Stone posted an AI image hopping onto the hype of Jim Carrey talk (also Carrey’s reps confirmed that it was in fact, Jim Carrey was the one on the red carpet and accepting his award).

Honestly he can rock it all

They actually approached him and he was like man, my English isn’t great and I don’t like violence. Totally resisted it at first!

one of my favorite bits of film knowledge is that in no country for old men, Javier Bardem was memorizing most of his lines phonetically, he didn't really speak English. He said it probably helped his performance come off as so cold and convincingly psychopathic. Dude won an Oscar for that role

this just unlocked the memory of being a young teen, having no idea how edibles worked, and my friend and I sprinkling leftover weed on ice cream and being like huh... this is unpleasant to eat hahaha

love playing outlast trials in my lisa frank pajamas (inside me there are two wolves)

Witty is streaming on Twitch.tv/wittlegoblin 3/2 and 3/7 this week. Wednesday is hobbying and Saturday is gaming!

The bad news is no hobby hangs today- the good news is instead we’re gonna have a cozy game stream on Saturday 💖

Stab: The Roleplaying Game by World Champ Game Co. Unlicensed Slasher Mystery Tabletop Game

Fuck the people who made scream 7, make your own for free with your friends and you won’t get fired for saying free Palestine worldchampgameco.itch.io/stab

hell yeah, thanks doc

If you have the time to spend all day internet conspiracy theory-ing the yassification of Jim Carrey, apply that effort to unraveling some of the Epstein layers or something. Or just touch grass, idc

I'm so fucking done dude

Women celebs debut a new face and there's scrutiny for sure. A mix of "she looks amazing" and "I miss her old face" but not fear and conspiracy theories, poor guy. I know it's different because he is the man with the faces, and to change that is a lot. But damn!

Like y'all, if it was a clone wouldn't he look like the Jim Carrey you were expecting? Don't you know what clones are?