Witty Volkova

Pssst, that pile of dishes in your sink won't take you as long to do as you think they will (and if you do them before bed, it's like a gift for tomorrow you).

nooooooooooooooooo

Found a pic of myself shredded/with a six pack and got kind of sad for a second but then remembered I can just do that again so I guess I'm gonna do that (but more reasonably, I used to work out 6x a week for like 2 hours and that was too much)

yeah it's the sound, ahhhhh. they'll take a big bite and then start a sentence and it hurts me

it's a lot 😵

not the same but when I initial WV it just looks like a little scribble

i know people do it to seem relatable and chill but if your video of yourself talking also includes you eating, i just can't watch it and i know i can't be the only one (yuck yuck yuck)

Debunked. Alexis Stone posted an AI image hopping onto the hype of Jim Carrey talk (also Carrey’s reps confirmed that it was in fact, Jim Carrey was the one on the red carpet and accepting his award).

Honestly he can rock it all

They actually approached him and he was like man, my English isn’t great and I don’t like violence. Totally resisted it at first!

one of my favorite bits of film knowledge is that in no country for old men, Javier Bardem was memorizing most of his lines phonetically, he didn't really speak English. He said it probably helped his performance come off as so cold and convincingly psychopathic. Dude won an Oscar for that role

this just unlocked the memory of being a young teen, having no idea how edibles worked, and my friend and I sprinkling leftover weed on ice cream and being like huh... this is unpleasant to eat hahaha

love playing outlast trials in my lisa frank pajamas (inside me there are two wolves)

Witty is streaming on Twitch.tv/wittlegoblin 3/2 and 3/7 this week. Wednesday is hobbying and Saturday is gaming!

The bad news is no hobby hangs today- the good news is instead we’re gonna have a cozy game stream on Saturday 💖

Stab: The Roleplaying Game by World Champ Game Co. Unlicensed Slasher Mystery Tabletop Game

Fuck the people who made scream 7, make your own for free with your friends and you won’t get fired for saying free Palestine worldchampgameco.itch.io/stab

hell yeah, thanks doc

If you have the time to spend all day internet conspiracy theory-ing the yassification of Jim Carrey, apply that effort to unraveling some of the Epstein layers or something. Or just touch grass, idc

I'm so fucking done dude

Women celebs debut a new face and there's scrutiny for sure. A mix of "she looks amazing" and "I miss her old face" but not fear and conspiracy theories, poor guy. I know it's different because he is the man with the faces, and to change that is a lot. But damn!

Like y'all, if it was a clone wouldn't he look like the Jim Carrey you were expecting? Don't you know what clones are?

I feel bad for Jim Carrey. Imagine you don't like how you look and get work done- get an upper bleph, and filler (maybe a face lift?) and the internets reaction is "Jim Carrey is a clone" "Jim Carrey is dead and was replaced" and "I'm so scared who the fuck is that." Damn.

can't trust them with anything, I'll NUKE IT MYSELF

I knew it

The world could be such a nice place if we allowed it. It's all so goddamn unnecessary. There's no need for any of it. It's so beautiful here. It should be so cool to be alive

The next time Max Landis' name is all over the internet can it please be an arrest or an obituary?

This was done without congressional approval, he is calling it war. He is saying he knows Americans will die for this, calling it "sacrifice." This isn't a "vote it out" situation. This is a burn it to the fucking ground situation.

Literally bombing children in part to distract from raping children. To set things up to halt mid-term elections. Right after grifting billions for his "board of peace." After the US spent 20 years in Afghanistan to "prevent it from being taken over by the Taliban" (who are currently running it).

the first thing i did today was stretched very wide and smashed the huge glass bottle on my nightstand and now i have dropped an iced latte onto my bed so i think i just need to be bubble wrapped and nowhere near my bed

Rise, Wizards! & All’s Fair are two games I am incredibly proud to help usher into the world as physical zines you can hold and treasure. But more than that these are just two incredible games!