Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer

I believe it's pronounced "thirsty"

Yeah but look how happy he is doing it

Shipment should arrive in 6-10 business days

Yeah, but I'll have a boner the whole time I hope that's okay

Just wanted to remind you all that I am available for smooches

You trade your old friends in for store credit at Buffalo Exchange. Then you have to pay the difference, obviously

Apparently they met in Peter Thiel's hot tub at 3AM so I assume he's just the worst

When everyone knows it's dark magicks

It f-ing should be! Gimme a sec lemme register something....

It's the same reason I don't think trans women* belong on Grindr. They attract "straight" assholes, who then make the app a nightmare to use

*I promise it's not an anti-trans thing, I fully support trans men being on there

Then your local Piggly Wiggly will do just fine

At the Barnes and Nobles, like the rest of us did

If I wanted to jerk off next to a straight guy who I know would call me slurs if he saw me in the street, I'd go back to college

Real talk, I HATE that sniffies advertises as a place for "straight" people to meet up for gay experiences. Those people suck and they ruin everyone's time

Sniffies chat reading: Me: Thanks, yours too [he'd complimented my photos]. What are you into? Him: Straight. I fuck women for money mostly. Chat on here with guys when I'm horny Me: Gotcha

O... kay?

Does the article say how I can fix my brain so that I don't anymore?

I *know* I shouldn't, but I do still miss my terrible ex

Nice

"Think you're too good for this weird creep with a gold tooth and a rat tail, well he thinks he's too good for you"

Grindr: where the guy you were about to degrade yourself by sleeping with leaves you on read

I heard about it but did not watch. I could definitely give it a try

I'm sorry I unfollowed you. I still want to have sex, but you're also the most insufferable person I've ever interacted with

Great minds stare off into the middle distance for 20 minutes in the shower thinking about grammar alike

It's weird when someone calls themselves a DILF, because grammatically they should probably use DYLF

Like, nothing serious but maybe he broke his toe or something

I kinda hope he got (non-fatally, but painfully) hit in the parking lot because he was so distracted trying to lug home his tremendous trophy, and now the cats just aren't that important to him anymore more

I was going to lose no matter what because I couldn't find a single copy at my local blockbuster to practice with. I assume pizza cat guy had rented them all to eliminate the competition

I feel like he should not have been allowed to represent that way, I'm sorry. You pick one anthropomorphic fighting animal team obsessed with pizza, and you stick with it

When I was in junior high, I went to state in a Blockbuster sponsored videogame competition, and lost playing the TMNT fighting game to a guy in a Samurai Pizza Cats shirt

Me too, but they're all fictional and ~60% of them are from D&D