Handsome Bigfoot Lawyer

I wasn't fishing for that but I'll take it

As someone who once said that the excitement over a list of new Beyonce song titles was maybe premature without actually hearing the songs themselves, I welcome the guillotine

This pilot keeps coming out of the cockpit to hit on the stewardess and she is NOT into it

I think we all still defend the death penalty in this specific instance

And I'm not even a real lawyer and barely a real bigfoot

So, technically (and I hate that I know this) it was a shared room with a mini-fridge, so it was also from his room. That doesn't make it okay, it's just a fact I remember from the case

Okay, look at the twink over here

Every time I see a map like this I want to break out into the animaniacs map song

No more forever wars? No, more forever wars!

The xyz affair would like a word

Oh my dude, you just had to ask

Wait, I just realized, the SVU handles sex crimes but the ADA surely handles other kinds of crimes?

Puerto Vallarta, where I'm told the explosions are over

The guy across the aisle from me said his friends are down there now and it's totally fine, so 🤞

It was inside you the whole time

I feel like I could have paid less, again, there's only 5 people on this flight, and three of them are also in first with me

I mean, yes, but also $600 roundtrip, first class each way? I'll get langoliered

Oh no. There's only like 5 people on my flight. Did I make a mistake booking this?

This airport restaurant does not offer glasses of water. You can only pay $4 for a bottle. This is how I become the joker

It's wild that we keep coming up with new fetishes. Like now there's a thing where guys slap their dicks real hard and cum from it or whatever, and we're just like "wow, I guess no one ever tried that before?"

Always some elf

Hers didn't rhyme. Or, I guess I dunno, maybe it did in Greek or whatever

Who was the first person who decided that riddles needed to rhyme?

Columbia President with NEW details:

5 DHS agents entered a residency with no warrant.

They said they were police looking for a missing kid.
Security camera even captures them showing pictures of the "kid."

A campus officer asked for a warrant & their boss.

They ignored him & took the student.

I'm hoping we see peen

it’s hard to talk politics anymore because the natural response to everything is “oh they should be killed” but you’re not allowed to say it. it’s more illegal than open pedophilia

Which makes me think it's not about likes/followers for him, it's a power play. He wants to "own" the photos he's stealing from the guys he posts

Plus, if he just reposted, people could then use his feed as a way to find and follow people they liked the photos of. He'd have more followers because people could use him as a resource. It would actually benefit him to be a better person

I never understand these porn aggregator accounts. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but there's just no charitable way to view what they're doing and I think it's so gross