Mikel

Big Christmas vibes coming up

If your school closes tomorrow, stop attending that school

If you don't trust yourself to change your OWN TIRE ON YOUR OWN VEHICLE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SHOP

Things I've shared the road with today:
• a trailer tire that was actively separating
• a gen 2 Forester with a loose rear bearing
• a Meijer parking lot with mostly bald tires in OCTOBER

When you're in the middle of nowhere but the KFC slapps, that's like the only excuse for racism in the kitchen stg, like I can taste the hard R in this chicken and holy FUCK it hits hard

Forgiveness Is Weakness by Whitechapel on Apple Music Song · 2019 · Duration 2:55

*hearing that the Lostprophets piece of shit died in prison*

music.apple.com/us/album/for...

"do you have any firearms in the vehicle"
No sir
*points at black case mabelled 'FOXWELL'*
"Are you sure? What's that?"
It's an OBDII scanner, I can open it for you if you'd like

Playing "Symptoms of Survival" after that set was honestly kinda brutal

It's the full facemask in the pit that solidifies all my "boohoo, wear the fucking mask" takes back in COVID btw

Lololololol you think your clapped out garage-turboed 8th gen civic sounds good with your pop tune but your friends turn heads when I redline my straight piped RAV4, figure it out

Jarvis? Tickle that mans balls

"insert cash or select 'pay another way'"
*Puts dick in the self-checkout*

Why is the orange fascist having a press conference with a convicted war criminal

"yeah we'll be there around 12-2p"
*Shows up at 1:30*
"Sorry I'm late!"
Nah fam you good

"bean me up, scotty"? More like, "lube me up, daddy"

"bro did you just take a shit?"
No, one does simply "take" "shits"... That's disgusting... But I did just straight up drop a dookie

If you don't fuckin live here, don't fuckin park here

"This metal artist, most known for writing and releasing the bands most played hit, 'I Cum Blood', spends his free time on and off tour visiting and clearing out claw machines and donating his winnings to St Jude's Children's Hospital."

Born Of Osiris..... Featuring Spencer Chamberlain of Underoath????? I dig it, but I'm just confused

Which shonen?

Tri-state area? More like Villáge a Trois

*wakes up 20 minutes early*
*Takes a 20 minute shit*
*Still has to rush to get ready for work*
*MFW it's my birthday*

The answer is yes, I'm the antagonist

Using Incineroar's z-move against a preschooler's Stufful is honestly wild AF, like am I actually the antagonist?

Omg a coffee maker? Maybe?

crazy even

but like, being able to USE THE WHOLE FRIDGE

A FULL FRIDGE

AHHHHHHH ITS TOMORRRRRROOOOOOOWWWWW BITCHESSSSSSSSSZZZZZ

I stg if I pick up another screw in the same fucking tire