Joel 🥌

Product description for a vacuum that includes “Pet Crevice Tool.”

I don’t think my cat will appreciate me putting the vacuum there.

Origin of the phrase, "get your ducks in a row."

Thank you! That is a wildly narrow list of people who are alive!

Hey hey hey! Thank you! Sadly, if that happened, I didn't hear about it!

Five for Fighting music sounds like something you’d listen to while sobbing and making Kraft Mac & Cheese in the microwave at 2 am.

Picture of my wife’s food next to two potholes in the pavement that look like the footprint of a giant men’s dress shoe.

Found a footprint for British Bigfoot just outside of Beauworth in Hampshire.

I'm liking the synergy of this.

Thinking I might spend my retirement spouting hustle culture nonsense on LinkedIn or trying to make the three martini lunch a thing again. I don't know. Could go either way.

From Minnesota, no. Lived here the last 20 or so years, you betcha.

You don't have to like this or anything, but this was an old tweet that I liked that I wasn't ready to let go of.

Every Radiohead song is basically the soundtrack to the moment in a movie when two spaceships dock with each other and the heroes of the movie learn that everyone on the other ship is dead.

That's awesome!

Holy Shit! 1992 I'm graduating high school and starting college. I've transitioned to Nirvana, Matthew Sweet, Tom Fucking Cochrane and getting ready for Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam and Liz Phair. I have never heard or seen Easy by Faith No More and I'm blown the fuck away in 2025. 🤯

At the time, I *thought* he was gonna be the replacement for Brett Butler but also I was 15🤷‍♀️

YouTube video by MLB Komminsk goes over fence

This reminded 15-year-old me of the coolest (on UHF TV) catch I ever saw live that didn't count. www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cs9...

Can people stop being angry weird and just be thoughtful for, I don't know, maybe ten minutes?

The entire course of human history and achievement lead to this moment and I couldn’t be prouder.

Seriously need video, or at least audio, of this.

Should have sent Left Shark up there instead.

Fozzie Bear’s favorite food is Wockamole.

I’m away this weekend and listed my tickets for half price with no takers. Really glad I don’t feel the guilt of being 2.5 miles away and not wanting to go.

Planes, No Trains, Busses, No Automobiles, More Busses, Lyfts.

Much like Ramon Abila, I was exceedingly pleased to not see at Allianz the self-service beer kiosks that also asked for a tip.

I was behind a Saint Paul Parking Enforcement car this morning that was speeding which is super weird because their targets are stationary.

Minnesota can produce these blindingly sunny days in the winter. While it's beautiful, it can also drive you a little crazy and you find yourself saying things like, "It's pretty warm out for -3."

Not gonna lie. I'm pretty upset the Trump Administration has given access to my private personal data to a whole bunch of dudes who still get mad when their mom buys the wrong shape of chicken nuggets at the store.

I learned everything I need to know about treating others from They Might Be Giants “Flood.”

Saved a few bucks here by being a UMaine alum.

Wake up.
Turn up heat from overnight temperature.
Get in a hot and steamy shower.
Cat comes in the bathroom.
Cat sits by the blowing heating vent.
Get out of shower.
Cat demands to be put the window.
Open window and put cat in.
Realize I've been running a cat sauna for years and years and years.

“I’ll have a large skim latte.”
“Do you want that hot or iced?”
“Start with hot. It’s -11F outside, it’ll be iced by the time I get to my car.”