Flare Vent

obsession that i was taught

obsession hurt rose

she was teaching me to be obsessed
and im still scared to vent about big things to partners because i was told my problems where less than Em's
the more I say
the worse i realize she was

the only reason im not with her is the fact i prioritized a suicidal friend over her
but she made me think obsession was how relationships where supposed to be
im trying to heal
but its hard

i barely know how to handle relationships ngl
after how Em forced me to act
basicaly in grade 8 i got with Em, she seemed nice but slowly pushed me to only interact with her, to be obsessed with her
i was stupid and went with it

ive figured some stuff out
but i hurt rose by mistake

no
so much shit has been happening

....
what the fuck is hapening

2/3 =?=> 1/3 =?=> 0/3

Held together by 3 strings

One is a thread nearly breaking
Another is a string linked to the thread
Last one is being untied for awhile

The first time I looked to the future with hope was with her

Now I don't even want to think about now

YouTube video by Hans Zimmer - Topic What Happens Now?

music.youtube.com/watch?v=IhDN...
Again and again

I should not be trying to help my friends
The littlest things are making me unstable currently

i dont want to rush her, but my hope is... building so much

i feel like literal ass rn
even though i might of gotten good news
for some reason it feels like it will not actually happen
and then Ill of gotten my hopes up like crazy and then... no
i shouldnt get my hopes up... but i did anyway

sudden bout of horrible sadness

im fine with it
i am tho going to keep that 3rd spot open for awhile

... you are kinda unstable ngl and I want the very best for you

good
if either of you need to talk about ANYTHING feel free

im still worried
just treat her the absolute best

and tell the truth

did you put ANY pressure on her for this?

im going to say it
she picked them
I ngl dont think they are stable enough

there is one that i dont think she should pick
i wont say, but i have my reasons

putting this here
(this is for rose if she sees it)

I dont care if we get back together, i just want you around because you showed me what a true friend is, and I dont know if i would even exist today without you

irl friend group is falling apart
one of my best friends wants to dissapear

it feels like soon ill have no friends again

you can still go back

I want to cry
But I don't want to wake up my parents

if you are reading this rose, this thread was AFTER

this will go away...
right

(💛💔)💙