Kyle Brickman

Fuck, I was all ready to post about how LinkedIn’s algorithm is a siren song to hypercapitalists and needs to be studied, and then I realized this wasn’t even posted there. It just _felt_ like it.

Pope Leo XIV: “It’s undeniable that Weekend at Bernie’s is an allegory for the Resurrection of the Christ. The hijinx that ensue? A divine gift.”

EXCLUSIVE: Roger Lay, Jr. Interview, Part IV In a new multi-part interview, TrekCore talks to Roger Lay, Jr. who is producing the bonus features on both Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Enterprise’s new Blu-Ray releases.

Some fourth-wall-breaking context for those blissfully unaware, the network (U! P! N! UPN.) originally wanted B&B to have the mess hall feature a musical guest in each episode in some insane attempt to reach a younger demographic.

LEGO posted this cute video for the launch of their first official #StarTrek set today

#LEGO

Star Trek: U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D™ 10356 | LEGO® Icons | Buy online at the Official LEGO® Shop US LEGO® Icons Star Trek model kit for adults

I may as well just point my paycheck’s direct deposit to LEGO at this point.

Also hilarious that “Klingon forehead” and “Guinan hat” are official LEGO elements now.

The fact that their song tried to rhyme “shill” with “apple” should have disqualified the entire ad alone, let alone, well, all the rest of it.

I did genuinely laugh when GenMamdani kramered into the ad by crashing a school bus, though. Is that part of the anti-Mamdani lore I missed?

A screenshot of an email from the Apple Store about an order change being successful. Inexplicably for one of the most brand-forward companies in existence, the email is entirely plaintext and in a monospace font. The text of the email reads: “Apple Store Order Change Order Number: [REDACTED] Hello Kyle Brickman, Thank you for shopping at the Apple Online Store. Your order was successfully updated and your changes are reflected below. If you requested additional changes, you will receive a separate email confirmation for each. To check the current status of your order, please visit our Order Status website at http://www.apple.com/orderstatus. Thank you for shopping with Apple. The Apple Store Team”

I’m pretty sure the only way this actually-real email from Apple could look less legitimate is if they misspelled “store” or hosted their order status page at real-dot-app-dot-le-dot-biz or something.

No, sorry, it causes mesothelioma, call the law offices of James Spockolove.

Pictured: Cuomo, voting for Mamdani while thinking “The Devil said running again was part of the bargain we made but he never said I couldn’t vote against myself. Fuck I just want to move to Florida for a few goddamn years before I turn over my soul for eternal damnation, please let him win”.

Feds: We’re charging this man with assault.
Also feds: No, we did not collect the discarded weapon we allege was used in the assault into evidence.

Ahem. It does not contain Oreo®, Milk’s Favorite Cookie™, but rather legally-distinct chocolate cream filled chocolate sandwich cookies.

I love it when two giant companies are fighting over, like, a dollar of my money, claim they’re acting in my best interest, and demonstrate that by making things difficult for me.

Unrelated, signed up for NFL+ so my wife and son can watch a football game while Disney and Google “negotiate.”

WHILE CONNECTING MOUSE AND COMPUTER, THERE IS ANOTHER LINE FOR TELEPHONE. YOU CAN ENJOY THEM AT THE SAME TIME.

A photo of my Apple Watch on my left wrist. On the screen is a a notification titled “November Challenge”, followed by the description. “Kyle, close your Exercise Ring in 1 day and earn this award. You’ve got this.” Fucking ice cold, Apple.

I can’t help but think Apple’s casting some subtle shade here.

A photograph of a bag of MUNCHOS brand potato “crisps”, which are like Pringles but in bag form and one of those products that the manufacturer must make for mere pennies since they print the price on the bag in big bold text. Next to it is a carefully-anonymized (important since I am clearly keeping my identity on here a big secret) receipt from FoodMaxx, saying that I purchased “MUNCHO POT CRISPS” for $2.79.

Me: So painfully uncool that I’m probably the only D.A.R.E “graduate” who still hasn’t done weed.
Also me: “muncho pot crisps 🤭”

The delightful thing about how Bluesky handles quote posts is that you end up seeing posts like this with no context, but a wealth of possibilities about what they’re referring to, all terrible.

A screenshot of an email from LinkedIn.com, a social network that is ostensibly for hosting your resume, but has somehow become a place where financial advisors slide into your DMs and people post the most unhinged hyper-capitalist bootlicking imaginable. Anyway, the subject is “Senior User Interface Engineer job trends from the past week.” Apparently two such roles were hired in an indictment of current US economic policies and an asinine fixation on trying to replace human beings with fancy autocomplete. Then the title “Companies hiring for your role”, followed by “Netflix”, which on a casual read suggests that I have been replaced. That Is, as they say, The Joke. “Companies hiring for roles like yours” would be better in basically every way, but that would wrap even on the giant iPhone screens the designer of this email is probably targeting, so gotta reduce the character count there. As far as I know, Netflix is still enduring my bullshit.

Well @jacquesfavreau.com, looks like they’re finally over my bullshit.

Or my last employer needs a content designer. One or the other.

In this era of the Cap’n, he is clearly stoned on the Devil’s Lettuce all the time. Today, massive amounts of amphetamines - I don’t think he’s blinked in years.

“Most Trekkies are Republicans, Star Trek can embrace it or die”, but then she got scooped.

@nytpitchbot.bsky.social, time for a Bari Weiss pitchbot, I guess.

“Why masking policies did not stop the rhesus monkey truck crash”

“North Carolina liberals are refusing to vote yes on CA Prop 50”

“An interview with Erika Kirk on how Reagan’s stance on tariffs was taken out of context”

Reminds me of this classic Swear Trek.

Sarah Winchester: The ghosts of those killed by my family’s rifles require me to build them a house with stairs to nowhere and windows and doors that can’t open.
Donald J. Trump: Hold my Diet Coke, I can build THE BEST house for ghosts. Ghosts LOVE ballrooms.

A mostly-black image, with mysterious characters and the text “View all soups” peeking through in staticky snow. (Also I wanted to use Zalgo text but I wasn’t sure if that would just obliterate Bluesky and/or be awful for screen readers)

Tag yourself, I’m “eldertly friendly”.

(A phrase which my phone tried *desperately* to autocorrect)

I don’t think a satire would include so much desperate “no actually I think all you FEMALES (Quark, am I right?!) are totally great and I love you, BUT”

Fuck, some days you’ve just got to write some code to keep the spark alive.

A photo of a (slightly dusty) 10246 Detective’s Office modular building, focusing on the main upper floor of the building, a “POOL” neon sign reflected on the window labeled “ACE BRICKMAN PRIVATE DETECTIVE.”

Somehow the latter! It being a canonical Lego surname is all the better!

Also, did your East Wing also try to destroy itself in solidarity like mine? bsky.app/profile/kyle...