topless romantic

iykyk

Old 1970s dish of food for ham and bananas hollandaise

"Kids! come down for dinner! The ham and bananas hollandaise is ready!"

let them be annoyed. complaining about something like this just makes u sound like an ignorant twat imao (in my aggressive opinion)

efforts to raise awareness and build networks across state lines are 100% necessary in the current political hellscape and a post i just saw about an absolutely draconian anti-abortion bill currently in session in SC is testament to this. local politics have national reverberations.

this is not allowed

Pete Hegseth still with no skills

“what’s it about?”
“ah, I dunno”
“well what’s the plot?”
*walks away*

well played.

what time rapture CDT?

i told u i look at ur bsky

👀👀👀

if you’re an isolated, angsty, strange young man, please know that you can become a Kierkegaard scholar instead of joining fringe online communities

i’ll give u a sexy one handed nab

She doesn’t need a hero, she is the hero we need. 🤩

“Nice car, jerk. Where’d you get it…”

share, like, and follow me into the dark

2 busy crankin itt

In THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE BIGFOOT IS REAL I AM GOING TO KISS HIM HE WILL BE MY LOVER I WILL BE THE LITTLE SPOON ME AND BIGFOOT WILL FUCK AND YOU CANT STOP US

Went to take a picture of this insane bigfoot sex sign in front of someone's house and only after opening my camera did i notice the numerous little chickens chilling in the dirt. life is good again

someone came up 2 me in the gym today as i was about to start on the hip thrust machine and asked if she could get in her reps in between my sets & i said “idk CAN u???” & this is why i cant make friends

everything’s great walking on the treadmill at the gym until you accidentally open the front facing camera

they might be homophones, but if you want others to take your sexting seriously, then be mindful of using 'yr' and 'ur' correctly

one is possessive, the other is a contraction. so when typing with one hand, remember it's 'show me yr big milkers' and 'ur making me cum' not the other way around!🙏😎

live, laugh, lobotomize me, cap’n

DRACULA: *singing completely off the beat at karaoke* goud lahk babe! goud lahk babe! ah ah ah

do i know u?

leaving my dishes unwashed so the ghosts have something to do

my bf is shitting rn

being covered in salt would cure me

my body is a shirley temple

Me pot o’ gold is a pile o’ shite
-self deprechaun