The Singular Malt 🥃😻🐧

Thanks, New Yorker

My wife is not speaking to me because her and her mother walked in on me trying to vacuum a fart directly from source

This has just arrived for Kev in Air Traffic. It's a very unusual gift for his girlfriend's birthday, but he's adamant it's what she wants. He checked her search history and he says it's what she googles the most.

Birmingham, my home city, is a fantastic city, with fantastic people- a success story. It has its problems, like anywhere. But the obsession the online right has with it is as transparent as it gets.

Screenshot featuring someone named "Randy Saylor."

Randy Saylor

If it's about more than one person, B.

Comic puppetry’s not what it was. #bbcpm

Dad’s books are full of empathy, common sense, and a healthy suspicion of the powerful. But at its heart his work is also about how systems keep people poor while pretending it’s their own fault. So I hope Kemi’s taking notes as well as reading the jokes.

As does the flitch of bacon.

Dozens of sex toys have been found washed up on a Scottish beach.

RISQUE GALORE

She hasn't the with or speed of thought to answer. How about
"I admire his ability to attract the attention of hacks like you, Beth, but what he says is horseshite"

“You described Reform and other parties across Europe today as among the 'right wing equivalents of the fascists in the 1930s'. Why?”

“Because that’s what they are.”

Stanley Unwin

"Are the big boys being nasty to you, Bobby?"

Two people now arrested.

It has an entire 12 page chapter on Bee Hunting 😮

Honest Bob Jenrick holding a judge’s wig in a manner that makes it look like his ventriloquist’s dummy.

“Gottle of geer.”

"Well, Wiggy. What do you want to eat and drink? A bit of brown bread and butter with a bottle of bitter beer or shandy?"
"Shandy"

Alas, poor Jenrick...

KITCHENWARE COMPANY BOSS: So, did you come up with a name for that revolving food tray, Susan?

SUSAN: No, couldn't be arsed.

an older man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair and talking . ALT: an older man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair and talking .

Mad as a box of frogs, except when he isn't.

This journalist is literally inviting Jenrick to share his views, while being accused of shutting down the debate! Astonishing.

Hey guys, I've found "Britian"

A dog whistle so loud even cats could hear it

So much of British policing boils down to the idea that there's no point dealing with Low Intensity Crime even though Low Intensity Crime is the crime 90% of people have to deal with

Really makes you think

In the early days of Wikipedia I created a fake entry about my village that included a fake Lord in the middle ages named after an 80s B Movie action hero. It is still up and being taught in the local Primary school as fact.

Am wondering if all of those suddenly deciding they’re against communities living “parallel lives” might reconsider their support of religious schools? Or indeed private ones?

If you can't see how this will end, then you're not paying attention (not least to what's going on on the other side of the Atlantic).

Sadly misnamed. We've learnt nothing so far.