🫘Dirt Jellybeans 🔞

Still have all slots open for this!

#nsfwart ##nsfwanimation #ych

I love being a mom and i love my daughter more than anything. But i miss physical touch and being held at night. It's gonna be rough for a while but i know it's just a phase.

I just have to stay strong.

The pain of being stuck with long distance relationships to then being your 1st irl relationship and being insanely close and cozied up. To then not even getting a full nights rest worth next to them is.... really rough

I will say he was told by my sister's bf that i talked about him and that i really love plushie. And he prior to coming to the fire ordered a plush to give to me as a "hey i kinda have a crush on you" i still find it so adorable

But yeah! Rest is history! Its been almost 3yrs since he came into my room and passed out with me

1st time in my life i woke up with a boy in my bed cuddling me. Super wasn't planning on him staying. He felt so bad xD

Asked me, "soo are you like.... is this like. A thing?? If you're okay with it I'd like it to be too" and i said yeah if it's okay with him. And so we cuddled up watching YouTube still trying to warm up. Next thing i knew it was morning

After all that and a bit of awkwardness. We make it back home. We go to my room to warm up and watch YouTube in the meantime. He had his arm around me gently. Clearly unsure. But at some point went fuck it and pulled me back to lay on the bed next to each other

But then the unexpected happened. He reached and held my hand, rubbing it gently. Never in my life has someone done that. My heart was racing omg

So we hold hands, i found out later he was clueless and honestly thought it was a smart idea lmao, and that there was no way i liked him that way. But as we walked back, we found a bench to sit at and let go of each others hands.

Now at some point, both our phones died. And it's like 1am now. Cloudy night so zero light and now no flashlight. So i, seeing a prime opportunity. Decided to suggest holding hands so if one of us falls the other can stop it. It was icey on the trail

I explained how it went. And how for two months i just didn't see or get to talk to the guy. And overall how awkward it was. We laughed over the embarrassing bits and then back to the usual. Games we both super loved. YouTube that we thought no one watched but ourselves. It was perfect

The walk goes as i expected. We share stuff to do with our exs, old friends and in general what we've been doing. He asked me about how dating said situation-ship went since he knew the guy and was told by a mutual friend. I had no idea about that until then lol

Super wasn't expecting it but that small gesture melted my heart. We make it back to my place, we head in so i can change into something more comfortable and warm. Then we head out. Once on the trail i found out he actually got us hand warmers since it was chilly. Again so thoughtful 🥺

And how much we got along. I wanted to shoot my shot. And see if maybe he'd wanna at least go out on a date. But anyways. We plan it out and said we'll meet at my place after work. Well he decided since i work in town, he'd come pick me up and drive me home so i didn't have to walk home in the cold

Next day late at work. I asked if he maybe wanted to hangout and walk the trail behind my house i told him about the day prior. He says sure thinking i simply wanted to catch up more. Which was true. I also have had a crush on him since highschool. And hearing how similar we are

Shared the wild drama that happened with an old friend group he was still a part of. And the shit his ex did. We exchanged our shitty relationship trauma lmao. Overall it was lovely. We talked about games, anime and shared a bowl together lol.

Anyways. He came over, brought smores and joined us in burning. I sat close to him semi unintentionally (didn't know i was THAT close) we caught up on what happened when covid hit because that's the last we saw eachother

Reason he was brought up was because a week prior we talked about him and i said he was nice to talk to in school and it would be cool to catch up. And so Shawn came over and omg. He lost so much weight and. He already was a cutie. But dammmn he had a glow up after school 🥴

Dude didn't care to come and that was that. Guy also knew said friend's ex as his friend. So honestly not that big of a lost lmao. But my sister's bf goes "hey i could invite shawn and you two could finally catch up"

So we planned a fire at my place and invited my sister and her bf. At the time i was trying to invite my ex (not the one who's shit i was burning) because i had a small hope he'd come and get to know me better unlike the last attempt at "dating" very much a situation-ship

Story time. So my friend just found out how much of a shit person her partner was and just broke up with them so i suggested that me and her together. Burn our pasts

Something truly healing to remember is that i burned or sold every single thing my ex gave (mostly burned) and that same night. Met the man of my dreams lmao

Up to the end of my queue, so now's a good time to get a comm from me!

....yeah doordash hasn't been working out very well and my hours are still minimal 😔

Being able to take a shower all by myself hits differently. Especially when everyone is sleeping/napping. I feel so fresh, my new acne body wash made my skin feel so clean on top of that. I wish i could have a shower like this every day

Just realized that I fucking forgot a layer so this is how it should actually look

#sfwart

We've got a rather emotional comm here for @eddathebruscedda.bsky.social , featuring her character Zaza Whistletusk making some tough decisions!

#sfwart

I feel bad because im getting really really grumpy and just irritated easily

Im so tired today and wanna just sleep through the night for once. If i could in my own bed that would be amazing.