Jimmy smoltich

I had to read something to someone over the phone that contained letters and numbers, they told me to say the letters like “A as in Apple”, but when I got to a “P” I didn’t know what word to use, so I said “P as in Paternity test” and the lady just started laughing.

I’m going to make a vegan protein powder called
“No Whey”… people won’t be able believe it

I saw a bbq show where they said, “it has a crispy skin and a crusty bark.”

And I think that’s also a good way to describe RFK Jr

My team got these cool cactus plants for winning the half empty half full show put on by the very funny Valerie Nies a few months ago. Mine grew little sprouts, so I put googly eyes and a hat on it. Go check out the awesome monthly show at ColdTowne theater #teamoptimism

Frank Zappa named his kids strange names like Dweezil and Moon Unit, but the name Bug was right there the whole time! What a missed opportunity. There could have been a Bug Zappa.

Measles
Are
Going
Around

fElon Musk

Inflation is just a euphemism for price gouging

Another reminder that this could have been avoided if joe manchin and Kristen sinema, two elected democrats, would have voted to impeach trump, but they didn’t because blue no matter who is bullshit and neo liberals have destroyed the Democratic Party and said fuck you to the working class.

I feel like I’m watching supermarket sweep, but instead of grabbing groceries for one and a half minutes they see how much of the country they can destroy in four years