mike

he who brings the bag of chips to the couch only stands up once

reporting the number of brackets in this SQL query to HR immediately

"War is hell" is a warning, not an excuse.

FanDuel/DraftKings: use promo code MAFIA for $100 in bonus bets

Defense contractors rn

my friend groups are openly posting things like ‘I don’t feel comfortable bringing my child around your Trump voting parents.’ point of no return has been passed here.

Quote from Washington Times editorial board "[Radical liberals] don't realize that, when they express contempt for the man who holds the country's highest office, they reveal their contempt for the Americans who put him there."

Uh no...we definitely realize it.

at some point someone had to have sarcastically said “wow nice job, Einstein” to him

A children's hospital is renamed for Dolly Parton and hopes to transform pediatric care in Tennessee Dolly Parton’s name might inspire full-throated sing-a-longs to her working woman’s anthem “9 to 5,” or evoke memories of thrilling days spent at her Dollywood theme park.

“Dolly Parton Children’s Hospital did not share how much Parton donated as part of the naming announcement. But Matt Schaefer, its president and CEO, said her support would ensure ‘every child who walks through our doors receives the treatment they deserve.’”

GOD BLESS DOLLY PARTON

“you HAVE to see this to stay informed”

does anyone in your community who isn’t related to you know your name?

when someone insists that I’m obligated to I expose myself to something on social media, I know that looking at things on their phone is the depth of their political action.

the washington state department of licensing’s phone menu is available in 10 languages and it turns out the 9 that aren’t english were just english with an accent of the language you picked. so press 2 for spanish and it was just english with an accent

abc NEWS "The lives of courageous American heroes may be lost and we may have casualties. That often happens in war, but we're doing this, not for now. We're doing this for the future, and it is a noble mission." PRESIDENT TRUMP On "major combat operations" against Iran Nathan Howard/Getty Images

“Some of you may die but that’s a sacrifice … I am willing to make 💅” — Lord Farquaad from Fucking Shrek everybody

‘this is all a distraction’ - no you just don’t want to talk about it

I’m 62 years old, I live in Tampa, I eat corn and beef everyday, I always have a titleist hat on, and Iran is the biggest threat to my freedom

this isn't a distraction from epstein class pedophilia it's an expression of the epstein class worldview

anyways, “Donald the Dove” etc. and so on

imagine getting sent overseas in Operation Epic Bacon

not that I eat there but at least chick fil a filmed customer testimonials with employees to avoid paying actors instead of this

sorry I posted normal things everyone, I hadn’t seen that we’re at war.

really uninterested in eating at restaurants hopping on the trend of stitching together a bunch of food reaction tiktoks and calling it a commercial

getting cooked on this app (MyChart)

we finally broke it

Front Office Sports * @FOS X.com Mizuno honored Chris Sale for 17 years of loyalty to the Japanese brand with a custom sword.

Of all the players to give a sword to

(looking out over the moors in northern England from atop a hill) bet you I could wuther from up here

why would you invest in radar guns to measure velocity when they show that right on the broadcast for free?

it was ok for me - I’ll give my doc a ton of credit, anytime it felt like I was getting kicked in the balls he upped the lidocaine

I lived bitch meme photo