Damnit Janet's Avatar

Damnit Janet

@damnitjanet.bsky.social

In my napping era Scottish and Queer | she/her My shitshow: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:t3dajzevhocfddfzczceizlp/feed/aaaoojl75k4ve

15,432 Followers  |  1,595 Following  |  10,699 Posts  |  Joined: 11.09.2023
Posts Following

Posts by Damnit Janet (@damnitjanet.bsky.social)

Band-Aids are sold in packs containing two useful Band-Aids and forty which are apparently designed for when you injure a single pore

02.03.2026 11:21 β€” πŸ‘ 39    πŸ” 9    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Everything’s gonna be fine as long as celebrities don’t start singing Imagine

02.03.2026 11:46 β€” πŸ‘ 102    πŸ” 30    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 0

Anything that lives in a shell is cute & chic as fuck like awww hey baby snail I love what you’ve done w your anatomy how avant-garde

02.03.2026 12:27 β€” πŸ‘ 37    πŸ” 15    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

A mob hit but it’s me waiting in the backseat w a daisy chain I’ll use like piano wire to pull their head back & give em a lil kiss

02.03.2026 12:39 β€” πŸ‘ 27    πŸ” 14    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

during my next rap battle i’m going to compare them to the gross little strings you have to pull off of your banana

02.03.2026 12:53 β€” πŸ‘ 118    πŸ” 31    πŸ’¬ 10    πŸ“Œ 0

Yup, caught red handed

02.03.2026 13:59 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
A pile of mannequin arms.

A pile of mannequin arms.

Police Raid Home of Suspected Arms Dealer

02.03.2026 13:41 β€” πŸ‘ 176    πŸ” 35    πŸ’¬ 13    πŸ“Œ 2

people marvel at my signature dish which involves torching a block of cheese i call a brie l’arson

01.03.2026 15:19 β€” πŸ‘ 189    πŸ” 54    πŸ’¬ 10    πŸ“Œ 1

I fear I’m one minor inconvenience away from no longer being a perfect angel

01.03.2026 15:27 β€” πŸ‘ 120    πŸ” 30    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 1

Today someone else did this so I didn't have to. He didn't see the funny side

02.03.2026 12:57 β€” πŸ‘ 32    πŸ” 6    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Nature needs an hr department

02.03.2026 09:13 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

ME: oh, you just let everyone touch you, don’t you? some of us have standards, you know

GRASS:

02.03.2026 04:41 β€” πŸ‘ 70    πŸ” 21    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0

not now babe i’m filling the bathtub with wrasslin’ jello

02.03.2026 03:08 β€” πŸ‘ 80    πŸ” 27    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Is it one of those situations where you're thinking you benefitted something but an old wise voice over says it was actually a graceful humility to you? And where even does the voice come from, pipes?

02.03.2026 05:49 β€” πŸ‘ 42    πŸ” 29    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
ROSALÍA - Berghain (Live at The BRIT Awards 2026) ft. Bjârk
YouTube video by RosaliaVEVO ROSALÍA - Berghain (Live at The BRIT Awards 2026) ft. Bjârk

the world is not very good right now but you could RosalΓ­a's insane BRIT Awards performance 70x like I did, it helps

01.03.2026 18:28 β€” πŸ‘ 80    πŸ” 21    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 0
A colorful photo of an adult, shorthaired, piebald cat sitting comfortably on his guardian’s bed. Loki has bright green eyes, a pink nose and a black and white face as he looks into the camera with a relaxed, zero fucks expression. He is leaning back in a position which makes him look like he’s sitting upright like a person with his legs splayed open, manspreading. His left paw is simply resting on his lap like he just finished a beer.

A colorful photo of an adult, shorthaired, piebald cat sitting comfortably on his guardian’s bed. Loki has bright green eyes, a pink nose and a black and white face as he looks into the camera with a relaxed, zero fucks expression. He is leaning back in a position which makes him look like he’s sitting upright like a person with his legs splayed open, manspreading. His left paw is simply resting on his lap like he just finished a beer.

It is crucial you all behold my cat while he is on narcotics.

01.03.2026 19:27 β€” πŸ‘ 184    πŸ” 22    πŸ’¬ 10    πŸ“Œ 1

Consulting the lumps on my head for spiritual guidance.

01.03.2026 21:38 β€” πŸ‘ 55    πŸ” 20    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

HELLO, THIS IS MY LANE. UNLESS I INVITE YOU OVER FOR A ROUSING GAME OF BUMPER CARS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR OWN.

01.03.2026 22:52 β€” πŸ‘ 61    πŸ” 22    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

ai is short for ay chihuahua

01.03.2026 22:57 β€” πŸ‘ 27    πŸ” 7    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

She's beautiful

01.03.2026 23:32 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
From @osirisguitar "Swedish literally translated names for animals..." shows: RIVER HORSE, = hippo, BLUBBER HUNTER = killer whale, INKFISH = squid, LATEWALKER = sloth, LEECHCONE = hedgehog, BEAKANIMAL = platypus, FLAPPINGMOUSE = bat, SHIELDTOAD = turtle & WASHBEAR = raccoon

From @osirisguitar "Swedish literally translated names for animals..." shows: RIVER HORSE, = hippo, BLUBBER HUNTER = killer whale, INKFISH = squid, LATEWALKER = sloth, LEECHCONE = hedgehog, BEAKANIMAL = platypus, FLAPPINGMOUSE = bat, SHIELDTOAD = turtle & WASHBEAR = raccoon

Please enjoy an old post I saw today on Instagram:

01.03.2026 17:58 β€” πŸ‘ 155    πŸ” 26    πŸ’¬ 14    πŸ“Œ 3
jennifer coolidge from the movie best in show saying β€œwe both love soup”

jennifer coolidge from the movie best in show saying β€œwe both love soup”

the real secret to a lasting relationship

01.03.2026 18:33 β€” πŸ‘ 318    πŸ” 49    πŸ’¬ 11    πŸ“Œ 0

When you taste what you're cooking and it's so good your head starts moving back and forth like a chicken

01.03.2026 19:12 β€” πŸ‘ 153    πŸ” 25    πŸ’¬ 7    πŸ“Œ 1

reminder that you are not obligated in any way to binge every moment of every horror going on. take time out for yourself. get that extra hour of sleep. buy yourself that delicious dessert. give a Nazi another curb stomp so they won’t have any teeth left for identification at the morgue. yoga.

01.03.2026 02:11 β€” πŸ‘ 143    πŸ” 36    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Hold up...I thought Diana Ross was the Supreme Leader?

01.03.2026 02:27 β€” πŸ‘ 272    πŸ” 80    πŸ’¬ 7    πŸ“Œ 0

I shaved my manifesto into my back hair for you. Please respond.

01.03.2026 02:42 β€” πŸ‘ 74    πŸ” 25    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0

the odds of me killing a plastic plant are low but not impossible

01.03.2026 03:03 β€” πŸ‘ 237    πŸ” 80    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 0

sometimes, right before I fall asleep, it feels like fleas are biting me wanna hang out

01.03.2026 03:29 β€” πŸ‘ 67    πŸ” 29    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

If your child falls into the gorilla enclosure you’re gonna need a new child. We only have the one gorilla.

01.03.2026 04:04 β€” πŸ‘ 1138    πŸ” 154    πŸ’¬ 14    πŸ“Œ 6

if i was a billionaire, i wouldn’t go hunting humans in helicopters with epstein, id get pre-opening day access to any water park i want. on that piss-free lazy river tip

01.03.2026 07:51 β€” πŸ‘ 103    πŸ” 14    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 1