Rosalind Scallop

my jaw dropped in those last 30 seconds

amazing!!

recent activity on letterboxd Bad Black Predator 2 A Moment of Innocence Off Limits

having a normal one

"I'm Rosalind Scallop dontcha know" SHOULD be enough to get me interviewed at most places but luckily for them they were able to figure this out from my materials

interview for the fellowship I applied to let's fuckin go

a still from Frances Ha (2012) "Are you really still, uh, are you undateable?" "You mean am I—? Oh, oh yes. Yes. Very undateable."

the main priority in my life for the foreseeable future is getting my union to prioritize acting in defense of international students, followed somewhat distantly by directing a music video & my writing. Not even to mention work. So I have shit to do! I'm an undateably busy woman.

people keep surreptitiously asking about my love life and the honest answer--I had a lot of one night stands when I was last unemployed but in general I am just a very busy person--provokes an interesting range of responses in the people who ask

I'm atheist but wrathful God "makes as much sense as anything" to me

visiting my Bay Area mystic friend, who tells me that Trump might be God's punishment for Americans. I suppose that He is known to put mercurial kings in charge of countries He hates. "Wrathful God," my friend says. "I love that guy."

EPITAPH ON AN UNFORTUNATE ARTIST He found a formula for drawing comic rabbits: This formula for drawing comic rabbits paid, So in the end he could not change the tragic habits This formula for drawing comic rabbits made.

Robert Graves foresees the career of Matt Groening in 1923

polywrath is good too because his name means "many angers" and he is exactly the same as his previous form, except more pissed off

to me exeggcute is the most fucked up pokemon. imagine hatching an egg and finding six more eggs inside. and one of them is broken.

farfetch'd is sooo implausible. Imagine you don't know pokemon and somebody tells you that one is "just a regular duck, except it has angry anime eyes and it carries a leek to hit people with. And its name is 'farfetch'd'." You'd be like, ok bud, how gullible do you think I am. That's obviously fake

sometimes you see a rock flying around, and it has biceps: that is Geodude.

meowth. I like it when he says, "Meowth. That's right." It is right, little man.

qbert is another good pokemon. I like his weird proboscis, and how foul-mouthed he is in comparison to the others

I also like snorlax. I respect his lifestyle. All he does is eat, sleep, and bodyslam his numerous enemies: that is a life well spent.

I think coughing is probably my favorite pokemon. he has a lot of personality for one of those guys who is ultimately just a ball. love his little jolly roger.

Naming the generations was one of the worst things that ever happened to american brains

leg two of The Scallop Summer Tour 2025 has commenced

[the townspeople] "this guy has another son? an American? Okay. Okay, I am just stoned enough to process this information. He's so tall..."

I'm Sir John Talbot and this is my son Larry. He is large and American, and he lives with me now. He is NOT a werewolf.

In popular culture: Conkling was an important character in Rosemary Simpson's 2017 detective novel What the Dead Leave Behind. To spite his large son, whose delivery he believed hastened his petite wife's death and whose great size implied infidelity, William Goodrich Arbuckle named his child Roscoe Conkling Arbuckle in reference to the politician's numerous extramarital affairs.

Was looking up Gilded Age power broker Roscoe Conkling and discovered my new favorite dependent clause, "to spite his large son."

imagining being rotated on the hot dog rollers at 7-11. I do not think I would like it

I lied: I don't have netflix. I'm just gonna pirate something for us to watch real quick. You like the Iranian New Wave? Been vibing on Makhmalbaf lately that sounds good to you

N——, who is soon to turn 27, wistfully says: "it sounds so nice."

meeting up with some of the girls from my MA cohort and talking about how much we like being in our 30s

I generally am sceptical of separatist projects because they tend to be aligned with parochial assaults on cosmopolitan cities, which are my natural habitat

Also I am extremely good at parallel parking, a skill which I expect will make life in LA about 15% easier

Normally it takes me a few months to find something to help out with when I move somewhere new. But this time I'm like: put me in, coach!