Alana Tomato

Because you are called "tomato" I always imagine you look just like Ms. Bobbi Harlow from Bloom County.

being "from somewhere" is OUT

unstable, itinerant childhoods are IN

straightforward relationships to place are OUT

ambivalence is IN

everybody get more geographically ambiguous right now!!!

I hope you think of me not just as an amusing internet personality, as a scholar of modernism and comics, or as a poetry freak, but also as a tomato

As a kid I think probably everybody expected me to grow up and do a PhD in weird shit. I don't think anybody expected me to grow up to be a Canadian woman

no tariffs on me you can import one (1) tomato

Commonwealth Day... Canada babe get back to me about proof of citizenship application.... I'll be an asset to the team

requesting in my will that nothing be left to the imagination

sometimes I look at a picture of bulbasaur and think, "Nature is so amazing."

me when I've noticed

This might be one of the greatest shots that I have ever seen.

poems are so easy, comparatively.

you start hanging around cartoonists and it becomes obvious that each of them should receive approximately one hundred million dollars per book in light of the amount of work that goes into it

You know what I liked was when Biden had that awful dog that kept biting people

you gotta be tomatomaxxing (being nice to me)

Dyna I am still seeing your posts.

Wouldn't you?

Hello?

Hello??

I don't think we're gonna get this loan. They hung up on me too. But let's give the credit union a shot. Might as well.

Yes, I do think this is a viable business model. I wouldn't waste your time, or mine, if I didn't. No, I don't think the obelisk rental market is too small. If people aren't renting obelisks today, this is due to a lack of supply, not demand. Wouldn't you agree?

Hello, Chase Bank? Lonnie here. No time for chit-chat today, I'm afraid: I am calling regarding an important business matter: I'm looking for a small business loan to buy a small plot of land on which to construct a huge stone obelisk, which I will rent out for use in occult rituals and suchlike.

i LOVE comics and i LOVE poetry and i LOVE movies and i love NOVELS and i like SOME teevee. sometimes. depending.

Oh. I guess that's april 6th. apologies to international women.

okay but what about INTERNATIONAL TOMATO DAY !!!!

grad school tip: whenever a professor makes eye contact in seminar, wink

Cosmically, there is something very darkly funny about spending an entire decade of American politics obsessed with repudiating the mistakes of the Iraq War, and then immediately doing it again at the first opportunity, but with even less justification, planning, strategy, or foresight.

recently was chatting with a german who demanded to know how I "know about Die Linke"! I was like: "I read... a newspaper?"

It's not as though anybody's eyes improve with age, however: I am in my thirties: it is only a matter of time until I will need glasses, at least for reading; and perhaps then I will choose to forgo them, exercising a newfound right to engage the world in less fidelity.

Or congratulations to all glasses perverts on the basis that I choose to wear glasses even though I do not need to. That seems more correct. It's kind of a win for the glasses pervert community.

apologies to all glasses perverts but my glasses are actually fake: I just wear them because I like them; my vision is really good, better than 20/20. In person, I like to demonstrate this by pointing out and reading small text in the distance; but, online, you will just have to take my word for it.

One day I would like to visit Ralph Nader's Tort Law Museum

“Hello, is this ladies? Happy March 8, all of you.”