old uncle BATface

you can't put that on a birth certificate because he's dead

he's in the military and his penis repair would be on the taxpayer's dime!!!!

Rick AND morty?? in this economy???

oh my god i think this is supposed to be a golf turf divot repair tool

new bluesky tos is out

candy ass

it's a good color

who are these losers trying to court if not us cause i got bad news: twitter exists and you can post "whatever" you want over there and the world's richest man will tell you that it's le epic to the max

childe brain elon shit

people think she got the power 'cause she got the chimps. nope. she got the power 'cause she’d let the chimps loose. they don’t UNDERSTAND

they god damn don’t understand THAT and they god damn don’t understand HER. that’s ok. that’s all right, see. cause people, they understands CHIMPS

thank you, ma'am

did you want to make a sequel to the bone farmer or did you feel like you had to

get his ass, ma'am

readnews76

home depot email thanking me for a furnace filter purchase with a description and image of the filter. below, it says "you may also like these" with four more filters of different sizes and shapes as if im starting a filter collection

home depot: thanks for buying that furnace filter

me: mhm

home depot: perhaps uhhh you maybe want to get some filters that don't fit your furnace eh???

WHO CARES IF THE GOVERNMENT "SHUTS DOWN" THESE SHITBAGS DO IT EVERY YEAR NO CAPITULATION ON HUMAN RIGHTS

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I SPEND MORE TIME ON THE PHONE WITH MY "ELECTED OFFICIALS" THAN I DO WITH MY OWN MOTHER

you'd think being immediately painted as a "commie homo" by thousands of guys who look just like you would be a deterrent to this sort of thing

i really believed that at some point the arch ghoul conservatives that fund this stuff were going to tell their guys to get a fuckin grip but it really seems we're full steam ahead on "remember when you didn't pay rent"

YouTube video by They Live Together They Live With Vampires

So 8 years ago, @cruzflores.bsky.social and i made a webseries called They Live Together, a comedy about a couple navigating marriage in a world full of vampires, zombies, and other cryptic creatures. No one paid any attention to it. Here it is if you would like to watch!
youtu.be/GjVk_cMqojQ?...

1985 oldsmobile cutlass 442

a h h , Y E S !
s a t u r d a y s a r e m a d e f o r
D A D S !

a n d d a d ‘ s C A R . . . !

gary busey died??,!?

don't really like how the squirrel is categorized as "mean" when we don't know their side

CHOTINER: so, you'd never heard of me until recently

ME: correct

CHOTINER: but you felt you you could do one of these

ME: yeah how hard could it be

CHOTINER: im glad we had this talk

ME: me too

in the united states, the smoldering battery has the right of way

Laugh It Off / The Ballad of the Contemptible Loser, by Nicky Flowers 2 track album

it's the 11th Annual Nicky Flowers (let's-celebrate-the-end-of) Summer Single!!! every year since 2015, i've released a non-album single and here i am once again!

this time, i'm introducing my new Portastudio-based sound. let everyone know i've gone lo-fi nickyflowers.bandcamp.com/album/laugh-...

garden center sign that says "mums pumpkin corn stalk straw"

god british food all sounds disgusting

NOAH

VVIP Credits! Byle Harris, Wendi Ulrika, Fleur Smith, Halseth Farlen, Andi Wipprech, Hoven Raddesa, Carl Robinson, Isauro C, Macker Gream, Jorge Hernandez, Jack Thomas, Pavel Gurkis, Victoria Souza, Sumay Hassan, Nathaniel, Pedro Wilas, Jackie Lopez, Wilson Garcia, Hacknei Golish, Susan Estrams, Samson Umswa, Salla J. Cook, Heeth Schlte, Adam Bailey, Debra Shawler, Mikaela Zuchs, Adilina Calevans, Antonio Campana, Jaime Lopez, Milo Jackson, Paul, Tamara Whilm, Haziel Guimaraes, Nicolai Borg, A.Thakur, Jake Nebarez, Gebray Provins, Eric Crutcher, Charles Vargas, Wes Matie, Leo Rundell, Walter, Eugene Simmons, NOAH, Arnold Deglia, Wane Tung, Comb Feldstich, Biele Feldt, Salee Corvery, Savelry Giewicz, Zaya Cruea, Zulema Casasi, Cascia Bork, Jose Martinez, Evener Chaiken, Ben White, Rossean Busbinni, Alice Gom , Craver Savey, Carter Forte, Albert Jenkins.

You're going into witness protection but you have to choose your new name from this list of possibly fictional backers of a dubiously funded kickstarter game