shaeshaeshae

how much more of this can I take man. why am I so repugnant to people when I show them things that matter to me. thanks for ruining it for me. fatass. hope you enjoyed it.

I love that my shithead racist dad had to go and get ALS because I'm 21 years old and have no real world experience and have to ask my mom to go outside like I'm 12. and everyone even slightly older than me treats me like my primary occupation is "adult toddler" . stuck inside for 4 years atp

u meet someone on a dating app & ask if they wanna go out "id like to get to know you more!" that's what the date is for man

lowkey not drawing guys' female ocs for them anymore, unless they pay me $50 at minimum. neary a fat ass or belly will be drawn. not a single mommy milker. never again!!!!

how were my parents so unequipped to deal w autistic children. both of them defo have autism. my dad likes tron. I've never seen a neurotypical person who fw tron. bro come on.

they kinda just yelled at me for being autistic until I masked the behavior enough that they thought I was cured of all the annoying autism shit that pissed them off (being a child)

my parents hated my 8y/o ass so much bro they like, got so mad at me for talking about the things I liked. now i feel like I keep such little track of things and why I like them and it makes me feel like a tool when i talk to people who are just waiting at the opportunity to gush about whatever

im so bad at talking to ppl like half the ppl I see on bumble or w/e are just like "let me hear about your hyperfixations!" but nothing I have to say abt them is a conversation worth having and could be shortened to one sentence. "I like how plasticy Mario 3d world looks" & that's all I have to say

i hope i dont have nightmares about mice. im having to deal w them in my room again

I feel left behind in a lot of aspects and by a lot of people. so many people have just ditched me or locked me out and I've never actually learned how to cope with the emotions I think. im still feeling over shit from ages ago

I didn't really have a very happy childhood

genuinely it's kind of a miracle I still like gorillaz at all because that was a big thing for me in highschool also. like I've completely reclaimed it from younger me which is astonishing.

I was kinda unfavorably talking about the wall to one of my friends ages ago and said smth to the extent of "it's overwrought and kinda up its own ass" and she got like. genuinely upset with me. I was wrong tbf but I feel like I can't ever get that work of art back from my shitty younger self

its that and that my dad introduced the band to me and I have extremely complicated feelings about him.

I still have problems revisiting art I really really liked as a teenager because I was miserable and up my own ass and they were genuinely the worst years for me. I feel like I can't listen to pink floyd without entering that headspace again just because I had that shit playing all the time.

its hard to miss someone ur upset with. she was shitty to me and stuff but like. idk man I just hope she's doing ok. like even if we weren't that good of friends. its been months idk why I'm still thinking about it

god forbid a girl wanna feel good about looking nice. performative fuckin cocksuckers

like seriously I've been so desperate both to see her and to leave my parent's stupid fucking house and I'm not even a passing consideration? ok cool man. can you just like, shoot me right now if you have a moment? thanks.

had to listen to a friend describe how she "needed a plus one for her and her (real) friends' Japan trip but nobody could come!! nobody I knew!!" like ok you didn't think once to contact me about it. what am I.

went on a bad date last night. she kept trying to reassure me it was fine but clearly had an issue w me. I kept tripping over my words because I was nervous. never felt more like a jackass. I don't think my antidepressants are working

feels so good to do dishes and laundry and shit at like 7am without having to worry abt someone coming in to bug you

I keep going to bed mid afternoon and waking up at like 11pm

guys who feel the need to incessantly bitch and moan about other ppls art but have never once lived a single original second of their life & the only creative thoughts they even get close to scraping the asshairs of is always some shit like "what if crash bandicoot met ed edd and eddy"

I wanna take more photos

its good obv

felt a little like i was avoiding mgs because i knew a bunch of guys who were redditors abt it but like. damn lol

the only ppl who want me are scary ass grown ass women so they can abduct me and make me join their shitty D&D group and pressure me into sex

month peaked when i got my ID. havent even been able to use it. everything is dogass. keep getting stood up by dates

nvm