daisuki

I… jerked my shit… today…
To see if I still came… -johney cash

Jehover witness

Taking shower at old folks home, niece and nephew left they bath toys in the shower from last night, lowkey playing with them

She taj on mahal til I Beijing

In the crib sipping a beer and farting my ass off

I lowkey be jerking it serious style to labubu r34

I finished a sad movie and felt heart broken, remained sad for a while after, I couldn’t stop thinking about the movie and started having a panic attack about never being the same but then i realized I was going on 5 hours no zyn… all better now!

After beating my dog mercifully, I went to pick up the poop on the floor.
That’s when I realized,,, it was human poop…

Nothing like getting home from a long day of work and itching your balls so hard they bleed

Our whole thing might be insisting upon ourselves,,, but idk 🤷 I be insisting upon myself every night if you get what I mean……. 😏

Black cat bad lick…. But secrete incase you didn’t know,,, if you kill the nlack cat it will get rid of it

Sometimes all I need is milk(can of beer) and bedtime story(roffle lite balatro videos)

Farted so hard set off the lunk alarm at the gym

I’ve been using the same disposable razor for the last 6 months and no one has said a word to me

Okay so help me roleplay as me and my future daughter so I can teach her about the Burt’s bees.

Me: honey I think it’s time we talked…

You as my daughter: (respond)

Me: what was that honey I don’t understand you

You as my daughter: (respond)

Me: I don’t think this is a good format

at some point you have to ask yourself are you jerking yourself off to live or living to jerk yourself off

i roke up bright and early for wendys spicu chicekn sandwioch

Life going to good, car had to make loud clang noise in order to drain another band out my pocket

If I just kill myself I don’t have to live

If I just piss the bed I don’t have to go the bathroom

Twister but naked and withe your mother

a group of anime girls are hugging each other and smiling ALT: a group of anime girls are hugging each other and smiling

Why does everyone hate on horse girls? This bitches are awesome

pahh... left on block once again,.,,. just another day ion my lofe

The thing about 4 of June in the hood is that you don’t know if there fireworks or gun fodder

If Jimi Hendrix could have just pulled his balls out and played the Star spangled banner normally it would have had the same effect

left wing? right wing? broken wing... lets just say if some one where to ask "what wing are you?" im no wing... flightless bird

a black spider is standing on a white background . ALT: a black spider is standing on a white background .

SPRIDE MONTH !!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE MONTH DEDICATED TOWARDS SPIDER PRIDE!!!!!!! 👹👹👹👹

Finally home from last day of work, it’s been probably the hardest 2 weeks notice I’ve ever done… but since they made that rule banning jerk off time in the bathroom, I know I needed out

Yes I’m drinking and driving
Yes I’m a six pack in
No I am not over the legal limit

Ai,

Make me photo of Bernie sanders choking his chicken to naked girls.

Thank you