Hank “Chode Toaster” Finch

My girlfriend thought I was cheating on her but I swore to her it was misunderstanding and I wasn’t kissing the goat back

If there’s a food that describes me best it’s tapioca pudding because of the tiny soft balls

Have a positive attitude and the world’s your goiter

Hey ladies, you wanna party?
🚬😎 💉

My self esteem is so low that I sometimes feel like I’m in the 1% of people that aren’t better than you

The Child’s Play remake was a prequel to M3GAN

I couldn’t separate it from the franchise and only thought of how I’d rather be watching the original

It’s like someone saw the Treehouse Of Horror with the evil Krusty doll based on the Twilight Zone episode of the killer doll and said I could make a Child’s Play movie out of that

I agree if you don’t count the remake where Chucky isn’t even a living doll

Child's Play 2 turning 35 seems like a decent excuse to roll this one back out.

If I’ve learned anything from tv and movies it’s that antidepressants turn you into a emotionless zombie and nobody actually needs them and help no one

Still waiting for my check from George Soros for being antifa

I’m kinda the Michael Jordan of Beyonces

Saw Fantastic Four: First Steps

The older Fantastic Four movies were goofy and dumb but at least they were somewhat entertaining

This new one is straight up boring

Jurassic World Rebirth is pretty much a B-Movie with blockbuster production

SANTA WINS NORTH POLE HEAVYWEIGHT BOXING CHAMPIONSHIP VS ELF #69432 RETAINING HIS TITLE FOR 167 CONSECUTIVE YEARS

Happy National C(r)appuccino Day!

I wanted to rock ‘n roll but my knees hurt and I wouldn’t have started if I knew how long it was to the top

In the the new Fantastic 4 movie shouldn’t they be concerned that the baby was born with no umbilical cord or amniotic fluid? Or nah?

Vampires live decades to hundreds of years and they never get any smarter

She’s a 10, but she never likes my comics.

The era of news headlines being indistinguishable from Stephen King synopses.

New comic! Wherein Cord makes the best of it.

New comic! Wherein Sock nearly has a good day.

"Unpopular opinion..." and it's the most popular opinion ever.

A security guard in a world of anthropomorphic numbers is like, “This two shall pass.”

New comic! Wherein Sock defends his manhood.

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Thanks so much.

Why name the channel Bravo when Absolute Garbage was right there?

I keep having dreams where I’m having to do puzzles and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing

Subtle